Mock Formative OSCE

[OSCE] : Objective Structured Clinical Examination
[formative] : ungraded

Today I started off the first day of the week with OSCE, which happened early in the morning. It is the very first time sitting for an OSCE. I thought I might be a little nervous and probably would not mess things up because I had three practices with my peers in the last week. Overall, everything turned out pretty well except there were some minor steps that I forgot to carry out maybe because I was a little excited.

There were only 4 stations, which would be considered as the least and probably the most simple OSCE ever, as regarded by Dr. Jack, the doctor who briefed us before the test. Each station is set up with different situations/scenarios and there were different tasks given for us to perform. And 5 minutes were given for each station in which 4 minutes were for performing the tasks and 1 minute for the examiner to elaborate or comment on what you would have done better or your overall performance.

There were altogether 13 groups for our batch in which each group consisted of 20 students which were then arranged into 4 different clusters with similar tasks. During the exam, the buzzer system was being used. There were different kinds of buzzer styles as indications of the time. For example, a long buzz would indicate that the test starts and the students are supposed to start reading the instructions on the paper which was attached to the wall right at the door of the particular room. After one minute, 2 short buzzes would be heard and students should be entering the room and start performing their tasks after greeting the examiner as well as the SP. 4 minutes later, a short buzz would mean that you have to end the task and the examiner would start giving comments, which would last for 1 minute when a long buzz would be heard again, which means students have to exit the room and start reading instructions for the next station. I find the system pretty impressing because it keeps everyone on time so that everyone is clear of what they should be doing at the particular time.

For me, the four stations included a brief history taking, palpating the apex beat, locating the brachial pulse and the aortic area, the vital signs(TPR), examination of the mouth and hand washing. The worst thing that I've done was that I forgot how to use the thermometer and I guess I struggled there trying to shake the thermometer and look for the temperature. I actually shook the thermometer with my hand holding at the bulb! How silly. I have no idea what I was trying to do at the moment. So I got only a 'PASS' for the station. Besides, at the station where I was supposed to examine the mouth of the patient, I forgot to wash my hands before and after the session. I also forgot that the lips are part of the mouth! Well, this is embarrassing to tell but I really forgot about it totally. So that made me a 'PASS' for it as well. Other than that, I guess I did a pretty good job.

The thing that I'm still figuring out is the minor tasks that we are supposed to perform like hand washing and explaining to the patients about the tasks that you're going to do. Reason being, we only have 4 minutes. Hand washing would easily take up 30 seconds at least, explanation would cost you probably 1 minute. And it would be even worse if you're nervous because you might find yourself struggling what to do first for the series of tasks given.

I think the following practices in CSU, I will need to time myself so that I'd do better in time management.

Overall, I enjoyed the session very much.
I really love CSS much more now!

MICRO BIOLOGY?

MICRO = small
BIO = life
-LOGY = studies

I'm moving on to Microbiology from this week onwards for 3 weeks. I haven't really started learning about it yet so all I know now is that it's all about *wonderful* and *gigantic* names! But I'm definitely going to conquer it! Hurray~

Okay, so today, I had a pretty wonderful session in the laboratory. I had Gram Stain session =) ( Gram Stain is developed by Christian Gram in the 19th century (it's in the notes)) I learnt how to stain bacteria using Gram Stain method and identify Gram positive or Gram negative bacteria.

I stained E.coli and Staphylococcus aureus and got to see E.Coli appeared pink(Gram-) whereas S.aureus appeared purple(Gram+). They looked so small even under a light microscope but they can be so harmful that might result in very high mortality in human beings. I put on the gloves and sterilized the entire working place, and started the task very carefully. I don't want to bring the germs home!

I enjoyed the session so much. Although it's inevitably tiring looking through the small lenses of the microscope.


All the best for your coming 3 weeks of Microbiology, and then you're freed for Christmas holiday! Yeah.

Updates =) =) =)

Wuahha...The last time I blogged was almost 10 days ago! Looks like I've been pretty lazy nowadays huh.

Well, I didn't blog doesn't mean that nothing special has happened. In fact, I've learnt so much these past days. I'm having one whole week of Pharmacology with Dr. Kyan Aung now and I'm trying hard to fall in love with Pharmaco. It's all about drugs. If you think that what you're learning is as simple as that, then you're very wrong. But if you relate Pharmaco with so many things else and then you get to know how a tiny bit of chemical that you swallow can create such a vast effect. It's all about poisons, I'd rather say. Now I understand why is it so important to prescribe the correct drugs, and at times even if the doctor prescribes correctly, it doesn't give 100% guarantee to the patient that the drug will bring benefit to the patient at all. Through Pharmaco, I find that our body system is miraculous. And scientists who discovered the ways drugs act in human bodies are way too fascinating to be described with words.

Wuahha...I'm spending more time at school now. I want to find time for myself. It's either the library or one of the e-lab where I got to find myself a lovely favourite spot of mine to do my stuff.

Enjoy!

How's life, dey.

"Finally I'm blogging dey..."

I think it's almost 3 weeks since the last time I jotted down my memories here. Hmm...It's been pretty busy all this while. Lecture notes are piling up. I need a lot of time to catch up! OR I should put it another way, I need to catch up faster...because the amount of time is constant.

Am I crapping now? It sounds like so. But I've way too many things to express so I'll wantonly allow myself to blurt everything out.

I'm doing Immunology and Pathology now, supposedly entering Foundation 2. I think it's fun. At some point of time it makes me feel like I'm beyond control. The cells in my body are fighting for the best thing for me but yet I'm wasting so much of my life on craps. It is like..."come on, you have no reason to stop working hard because your heart is pumping hard, and your every cells in your body have been doing a great job..." I guess this is one of the reason I have to work hard consistently.

Never let stress manipulate you. You have to manipulate it. You live your life.

Great achievements!

I had a wonderful day today!! I probably have saved lives today.

I signed up as a volunteer in a community project run by EMPOWERED and 20 other government or non government organisations, namely COLON CANCER SCREENING PROJECT. The purpose of this project is to save lives by early detection of colorectal cancer. There are 3 targeted communities, 3/4 zones in each communities. My job today as a registrar was to help the residents in INTAN BAIDURI, one of the zones in one of the communities in the Selayang area, to register them to take part in this project. I had to take very informal history of the residents who are mostly Malay-speakers in order to determine their eligibility in the screening. The doctor-in-charge of this masterpiece is Dr. Christina Ng who came back from the University of Melbourne. She guided us on how to complete the questionnaires for the residents and some important points to take note of. This was actually my second time of history-taking and it turned out that I had to speak in Malay at all! Guess what, I would say that today I got to speak the most Malay in my life! Well, truth to be told, I certainly think that my Malay sux. But luckily most of the residents whom I interviewed today were pretty illiterate and they knew nothing more about Colon cancer. So with my very limited Malay vocab and communication skills, I tried my best to communicate with them and make them understand what I was trying to tell. At least I think I've done a great job. I actually interviewed 8 residents..well, in 4 hours though, but there were more than 50 questions to ask. Imagine I got to get consent from the people and most of the 50 questions I got to explain to them before they got to give me the correct answer. So, personally I think I've achieved a lot....as in, well, this is the first time ever I took history in MALAY, TOTALLY. I mean...WOW!

Well I talked to only 8 persons today, all are residents from Intan Baiduri, which is a Malay area of the low income group. The eldest was already 79, and the youngest 54. I would say that they are very nice people although they know very little about health consciousness, and although I spoke with them in a very "bahasa paku" accent but extremely broken language. They were very patient =) I actually hope they really did understand everything I said. ha-ha.

I learnt a lot in today's event. Not only how to communicate in a very *new* language (well, to me, this is true, I've never spoken so much Malay before, not even 10% of today's achievement) with people whom I do not know, and who are from a very different background compared to mine. I asked about their personal details at first, like if you're married, what do you do and so on. Then I asked some Yes No questions that determined whether they are eligible for the screening. One lady actually happened that she lost 7 kg in the last 8 or 9 months because she's got admitted to the hospital due to stroke. I had to apologize to her trying my best to explain to her that this might affect the accuracy of the results. I guess she was pretty disappointed at that moment but luckily she was quite optimistic as well. I tried my best to tell her to take good care of herself. I was sad too ( because most of them came for the 5Kgs rice provided they are eligible for the screening).

From other perspectives, I learnt a lot when I got the chance to meet people who are so poor. One of the Indian ladies actually survives with only RM500 a month, which is the amount of her husband's pension. She has to take care of her grandchildren as well. I was pretty miserable inside when I asked her about the pay she got if there's any. Another Indian guy was working as a gardener in KL international school. I guess he could hardly understand what I was trying to tell because his daughter was there to do translation. And when I asked him how often does he eat vegetables, fruits and meats, his daughter told me that he eats only 2 meals a day, one at 12 at noon and another at 12 midnight. Gosh. And he has red meat like beef and mutton, even chicken, only a few times in a week.

When I think of myself I feel so shameful. I am living in heaven compared to them! I'm not being sympathetic but empathetic. But one very important thing that I learnt today is to appreciate everything I have. I talked to Mum and she actually kept on reminding me of how good my life is. She encouraged me to give away the things I have and to share them.

In the very near future, I'm going to keep up the pace to be a volunteer in community-based  project like this one. I truly feel glad to have the chance volunteering in this project. It is definitely incomparable to sitting at home studying for 8 hours. I would never have learnt this much from books =)

Thank you so much! to whoever and whatever that brought me to this volunteering job.
I'm going to be a merrier person from today onwards!!

**One more achievement today: Good news! I actually went for a swim after coming back from Selayang!! Hurray! I'm going to swim swim swim!!

What's the problem here -- to swim or not to swim?

To swim or not to swim? What is the great deal that is worth my time to blog about?

It's been more than 3 weeks since the last time I went for swimming. And the last time I swam, it was after at least 3 weeks I went for swimming. The swimming pool is only downstairs! I don't have to drive, don't have to take a cab. It is just but a 3-minute walk! And I have no freaking idea what stops me from doing so!

I always want to be a healthier person. I always want to swim everyday. I always tell myself that I will try my best to exercise EVERYDAY for several reasons. So I guess I would have to list down all the pros and cons for going or not for swimming so that I have a clearer and better reasons to go swimming! And possibly, to make my goals specific only so that they are more feasible to be fulfilled.

First of all, I am such a person who does not break promises without very good reasons. So what I confess or promise here I would surely, and I MUST, implement with ACTIONS.

Swimming is the best sports ever in the sense that it avoids injuries because water helps reduce impacts on the body. This is one indisputable reason. But why I always want to swim and every morning I still wake up with guilt that is killing me? Why, at the moment I get up from the bed, I would tell myself "tomorrow"? What is the subconscious motion behind this? I really don't understand my MIND. What's in her mind now? One moment she swears that she's going to swim and when it's time she tells herself not to swim.

In addition, for health benefits, I must swim often. I'm such an unhealthy person that I hardly pass motion everyday and I think that is really really bad. I don't want to store overnight toxins and stools in my body. That is disgusting, isn't it? I tried eating 1 grapefruit a day and it helps but now it seems not that helpful anymore, I guess I'd just have to SWIM. Health is definitely a big thing to me. Without good health, I'm DEAD. I'm not going to be an unhealthy doctor, after spending so much money on my 5-year education as a medical student, haven't yet mentioned the future specialisation with that I'd probably carry on, I cannot afford to let myself fall sick. 'I'd rather get stomach ache than constipation' This shows how concern I am to overcome constipation.

Next, I am turning 20. I want to wear nice dresses!! I don't want to look like a dumbass that looks like a pear or an apple. I don't want to be FAT. Well it is unhealthy and this restricts me in the choices of clothings I wear. And I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN ON ME ANYMORE after so many years. It's desperate to say but it's a fact that I haven't been 'slim' for all my life. OOH...I seriously want to change!!

Okay, so what's the stupid reasons stopping me from swimming?
1. weather - it's been raining season. I don't want to be dead stricken by lightnings!
2. Laziness - WTH is this? Now that I am conscious and *wise, I can't be surer that this is definitely not a reason. It's a very LAME excuse indeed.
3. hahh! Again, this is not going to be a reason. Time-consuming? What is more important than your health??

Yimin wake up now. Get yourself in the pool! You need to move it move it!! You can't afford to store more fat anymore!! You're going to look HORRIBLE and AWFUL. Please!! Swim swim swim!! Let mummy and daddy know that you are matured and capable to manage your HEALTH! You're turning 20 so please act like an adult. Do it!! Just do it!! Don't think. Just don't give yourself even half a second thinking of GOING OR NOT. Just do it!!!!!

Okay, just do it. So try your best to GO!!!! SWIMMING!!!

-make you lighter-
-smile and laugh more-
-go swimming-

1st hospital visit [Nursing week]

Hurray. Yesterday was my first hospital visit to Hospital Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan. It's nursing week therefore we were supposed to tour around the hospital, get to know more about the hospital setting and observe how the nurses carry out their tasks.

Personally I find the trip average. It wasn't as fruitful and as helpful as I expected as the session was so short which lasted only about 2.5 hours. We weren't shown how to wash our hands, wear gloves and so on. One of the sisters brought us around the hospital, and briefed us when we went to have a look at the dialysis centre, the ayurveda treatment centre, female and male wards, paediatric ward and the mortuary. My group was considered lucky as we were allowed to take a look in the mortuary. There were 3 cases on that day.

There were really nothing much in the hospital to describe actually. However, this trip isn't that bad after all. You see, IMU is such a comfortable university where the entire building is air-conditioned, with escalators even though there are only 3 floors and most of the floor is carpeted. Compared to a government hospital, for example, the PD hospital's setting was such a vast difference. I think there is a reason for the trip to the hospital. Because we students tend to *forget, somehow, the real setting and environment of the hospital where we'd be working in the future. This is very important because it reminds us that we would be servants of the community because we serve the community by giving treatments and consultations. And everything would be carried out in the hospital...which means, we must always remember that it is not necessary that we get to work in an air-conditioned comfortable environment like what we are having now in the university.

=)

And...I actually feel sad when I see the patients in the dialysis centre. I always remind myself not to show sympathy BUT empathy. Imagine, there's a Chinese patient who has been doing dialysis for the past 24 years, which, each session lasts for 4 hours and the patient has to undergo 3 sessions in a week. There are a lot of restrictions to the diet as well, like a limit to the amount of fluid they take and so on.

Uhhh huhh...I feel like I am such a NUBIE that there are so many things that I don't know. I need to learn a lot and therefore I shouldn't stop learning!!

I love bones, SERIOUSLY

my favourite skeleton, JOHN.

My mates with who I learn about bones =)

This recent I have been spending quite a lot of time with the skeleton.
After a few listening to a few lectures by Dr. Nilesh Kumar, I strongly feel that I like anatomy a lot. In fact I love listening to his lectures, either it is the plenary or the Medical Museum Session.

I enjoy so much even it's only looking at the models, like the skeletons, muscles and even the cadaver. I know it sounds weird when I tell my friends that I like *touching* the bones and the smell of the cadavers. People might think that I'm crazy. The cadaver doesn't smell nice at all but I like it. Well of course, I like not really the smell, but the atmosphere. I like to be in the medical museum. It reminds me of being a medical student * of course I am a medical student now but at times I forgot, seriously, perhaps due to the hectic schedule of the everyday routine*. I'm learning so many new things. I feel like I've grown up a lot. And I realised that there are so many things out there that I've not come across, nor have I even heard about at all. There are so many knowledge to learn, and I realized how much stronger I have to grow.

I hereby wish myself a happy and exciting journey in learning, in the journey of becoming a competent medical student, and becoming a successful doctor in the near future

boosters needed =)

I'm happy these few days. Really? Well I'm not so sure but I think I'm supposed to be happy. I found my file and the book I borrowed from the library. It happened yesterday when I had a meeting with the Halloween committees members in the SRC room. I saw my belongings on the meeting table. It just appeared out of no reason. I was so sure that I brought it to CSU and it appeared right in front of my eyes in SRC. My friend saw me taking the book with me. Ahh! Whatever. Anyway, I should be so glad because * luckily I haven't paid for it, which costs me RM150 inclusive of RM25 service charge. ( I actually purposely delayed making the payment and wished for miracles) And it happened. So fantastically and unexpectedly. I'm so glad now that I saved such a lump sum. Yea, it's true, RM150 is a big number to me because it doesn't worth it and it would strike me hard for not being responsible enough. Now, it seemed that everything is so bright. Although I still have no idea about the fact, that, if I didn't take the book along with me OR if someone else took it and was kind enough to return it to me.

The thing that I want to emphasize is not the narration of how and what it all happened. It's my emotions. Life seemed to be so freaking hectic that I almost lost my sense of living. I don't know how I feel and in fact, I feel numbness of feelings. Sometimes, well, most of the time, if I'm happy enough I feel so light and bright, and if I feel sad enough, I'd feel like I'm going to die BUT if my mood is moderate I would feel nothing, or literally, I feel senseless. It bothered me so much that I wondered if there's something wrong with me.

Everyday is so similar.
Everyday after school I'd take the same lift back to the floor where my unit is, and I'll walk at the same pace to the unit, then to my room and then take a shower. Then I'd switch on the computer and start doing my stuff, either updating FB status or checking out for lecture notes of the next day. Probably I'd take a short nap and when I feel hungry I'd cook and eat. After dinner, usually around 6 or 7 I'd start studying and by 12 I'll go to bed, which is just behind the desk where I study, after preparing the cereal drinks for the next morning. The next day begins at 7 when I get up. And I'd be walking to school at the same pace and around 7.50 I'd reach the auditorium where I have the first lecture of the day. There are always 2 lecture, each lasts for 1 hour, with a 15-minute interval. Then around 10.30 I'd either grab a bun from de Brio, or go to the library to *have a look or a touch in the medical museum. Around 12 I'd have lunch with my mates and after that if I have nothing for the day I'd spend a few hours in the library, usually the medical museum, with my mates and then I'll go home, walking at the same pace as well. And the routine repeats everyday.

Everything that I do every day seems so similar and monotonous, *well it's not boring at all, but, too similar* that at times I have to refer to the calendar to check the date of the day. I cannot even remember which day of the week it is. And time pasts so fast that now it's already Thursday night of the 6th week and I was still wondering what lecture I had on Monday, of which I thought just happened the day before.

I need booster. In fact, a lot of boosters. I have to make everyday a different and special day. Life is without meaning when every day looks like the same day.

Caffeine is not working at all. It only contributes to dizziness and motionlessness.

Well anyway, Mum and Dad are coming over on Friday night and I'm FREAKING glad. It's been 3 weeks since the last time I spent time with them *although I felt like it was just yesterday*....

I'm really looking forward to spending time with them, even a breakfast is going to boost me a lot and a lot!
Even now when I think of them I feel like my tears are going to burst. I didn't realise how much I need them before I left home.

Mum & Dad, you created me nine months before 8th of September of the year 1992 and I'm so grateful that you brought me to Earth. It's so amazing that now I'm studying about the human body, which is all about miracles that are so mesmerizing. I feel guilty when I feel helpless showing my gratitude to you, that you brought me to this world of miracles, which is of myriads colours.

lovely saturday

I woke up at 7.30 today and the first thing I noticed when I got up from the bed was that I had a really sweet dream the previous night. That made me a little miserable actually because I realized I came back to the reality and that I have a whole 1 inch of double-side printed, lecture notes to be covered.

I spent my day in the library. I spent almost 5 hours in the medical museum. And I like it a lot. I like the place so much. I feel like I'm energetic and 'alive' when I look at all the models of different parts of the human body which is placed everywhere in the museum. 

I met a Sem 5 senior there before I left then. He shared a lot on what is more important and what is not so on anatomy, as he saw me studying in front of the skeleton. I appreciated it a lot although I still don't know his name. And I see hope. I see some direction. I see, at least, some beams of light ahead of me.

Tomorrow the library is open from 12 to 5 because it's Sunday. And I'm definitely going to the library as well =)

I like to be in the library because I like the environment, the setting there. I can focus better there rather than at home. 

Then I got a booster right before I walked to the escalator. Yea, I saw ChihYean and I was so happy for no reason. I guess it's because I hardly talked to anyone for the whole day. And having the chance to meet someone I know it made my day. Then I had dinner with him. LOL. I had Nasi goreng Ikan Masin by the way...it's not bad. =) 

Yay~ all the best.

always encouraging.

意敏啊，你怎么那么糊涂呢？

FUCK YOU. 我一直这样责怪自己，因为自己实在是太粗心大意了。19岁了，还有5年，就要当医生了，现在这么点小事也处理不好，以后怎么救命？

昨天从csu回来，我居然忘了把一本图书馆借来的书和我的文件夹带回家。结果今天早上去查看，2件东西已经消失得无影无踪了。究竟是谁把我的东西拿走了呢？我又为什么那么善忘？！我对自己真的真的非常失望。从开学到现在，我一直警惕自己，要好好处理每一件事情，结果昨天我就做了没用的事情。

csu的sisters都很乐于助人，尤其sister Malathi，她带我到security office去询问是否可以查看cctv，虽然后来没办法查看cctv，我深深感动，她的人真的非常好。很感激她，也对她感到非常抱歉，添了那么多麻烦。

后来，我也到lost and found去，却失望的回来。后来，让我见到负责cctv的工作人员，他也非常耐心地协助我。明天，我要在去那里看cctv，真希望可以找回那本书，还有我的文件夹。

我也到过图书馆询问。原本今天就要还书的，但是看来没有办法了。如果明天cctv还是找不到那本书，我就要被罚款RM123.34和service charge RM25。到这里念书我已经用了太多太多的钱了，爸爸妈妈的血汗钱，又要让我这样挥金如土。我怎么那么失败呢？

好失望啊！我真的没有意料自己会做出这种蠢事。19岁的大学生，还是医科生，这么小的事情处理不好，以后怎么在社会立足？真的很难过。对自己真的很失望。

我衷心地感激每一个因为我而忙碌的人，也说声对不起。

意敏啊，你真的还有很多要改善的地方。这才一个月，你就干了好事了。
你有好多东西要学习啊。除了课业，处理事情的方式也要改进。你有好多东西都不懂得处理，所以不可以有任何时候感到自满，骄傲。

意敏啊，你要专心做每一样事情。什么是重要的，什么没那么重要，你要好好判断，不要浪费18年来的教育。以后，要时时刻刻警惕，处理好每一件大大小小的事情，以后才可以当个有贡献的医生。

现在不要再沮丧了。加油。
反正，错误犯了也于事无补，能做的，就是不要重蹈覆辙。

好好加油。

Clinical Skills Session

Have you wondered how your heartbeat sound like?

I've been so curious till the day I got my own stethoscope and listened to my own pulse. It is truly fantastic. Now every time I feel lifeless or restless, I would listen to my heartbeat and all over energy is regained. 

My stethoscope is Burgundy =)

Today I have clinical skills session and I like it very much. I always like to have css because it's not boring at all and I love practicals much more than theory. So I learnt TPR, handwashing and BP-taking today. Basically, T means temperature taking, P and  R mean taking of pulse rate and respiration rate respectively.

Sister Malathi introduced to us several ways to take the temperature, amongst them are by oral and rectal. We learnt how to read the thermometer in a proper way as well.

After that, we were led to another room to learn Effective Hand Washing. Ooh hooh! Now I know to wash hands properly and effectively requires 6 steps and you might spend more than 3 minutes solely in washing your hands!

Then, we learnt to take blood pressure using the blood pressure monitor which is called the Sphygmomanometer.*PHEW...such a big word! LOL....my blood pressure was 110 over 75 mmHG! For teaching and learning purpose, we were given a special stethoscope which consists of two pairs of earpieces. So that the 'doctor' and the 'patient' are able to listen to the sounds to make sure the student gets it.

疲累，怎么啦？

我讨厌自己感觉疲累。坐在地上读书，本来就不怎么舒服，可就会想睡觉，然后迷迷糊糊地过了好几个小时，要读的东西好像看过了，但是醒过来时发现自己什么也没弄明白。

上课的时候，我不喜欢黯淡的灯光。因为光线不足，让人想睡。我讨厌自己上课想睡，因为几百块又这样不明不白地流失了。我总爱寻找光线，注视着灯泡发出的光线，让大脑皮层接受讯息---原来还是白天，所以不可以想睡。

我好困惑阿。
韩愈在《师说》中道，人非生而知之者，孰能无惑？惑而不从师，其为惑也，终不解矣。
我说，我所困惑该如何从师阿？道之所存，师之所存阿。道在何处呢？

上课不可以想睡了。
要提起精神，如果想睡，就出去伸个懒腰，深呼吸，让氧气充实大脑皮层，让自己清醒。

加油。

Fencing - first lesson

Wow! I just had my first fencing lesson today and it was so much fun! 

There were only the three of of us who are newbies and one pretty lady who has been fencing for 4 years. The coach was late by almost one hour because he got stuck in the big jam. So we did a little bit of warm-up.( Basically, we ran for 5 times circling half of the forth floor of IMU.) 

At first, we learned how to move in fencing. For convenience during practice, 1 represents moving forward and 2 represents moving backwards..and so on. We learned how to attack and defense using the sabre, and the coach borrowed masks to us. It was so much fun! 

I enjoyed so much. And preferably, I would pick up fencing as one of my new sports and I will go all the way for it. 

I always remember that mum told me I must focus on only the particular thing that I am doing at the moment. And it worked out quite well as I only thought everything about fencing during the lesson. And now, I'm back in my room again.

So, now, it's time to focus on my studies ! hurray! What a happy beginning of the week. I'm going to be merry tomorrow as well!

History taking--- huh hahh!

Huhahh!! I had the second history taking session today at the Clinical Skills Unit. The entire session was only 8 minutes i.e. 7 minutes of history taking by me and 1 minute of comments from the simulated patient, and it was video-taped. Wow....I was so high-spirited throughout the entire session, even till now, I feel so excited about it, although, well, I didn't get graded as Excellent I guess. But I had a lot of fun even that was only a talking session with the sp. Luckily I practised taking history with my friend before the session. Huhhah!

So what's history taking all about? I didn't know that a person with so little medical knowledge can take history from the patient! And usually only by taking history from the patient, the doctor is able to diagnose about 70% of the illness. It can be said that communication plays a very vital role in it!

Basically, as a medical student, every time we take history from any person, whether he or she is a real patient or a simulated one, we have to introduce ourselves and ask for permission to take history. Then we start off the session by asking about the patient's personal information like his or her age, occupation, marital status and so on. And then we ask about the illness. From there, we find out the cause, severity of the illness and as well as the associated illness, which is the illness that is brought about by the initial illness. After that, we ask about family medical history and then we move on to the patient's habit like if he or she smokes or consumes alcohol.

Overall I find it very interesting, well, I'm quite impressed of my performance actually. At least for the 7 minutes I didn't get stammered and stop talking in the middle of the conversation. Although, of course, there are a lot more to improve, I actually was given the comment by the SP that I seemed to be more concern about her family background rather than her illness, in which the scenario was that her foot got caught in the drain and got swollen.

Heeh...Relieved and energetic!

busy huh?

Yesterday was Monday and Monday is always the day with the most packed schedule. Normally we would have 2 hours of morning plenary and in the afternoon we would have a one-hour lecture. I joined so many activities and some of the ones that I'm most keen to take part fall on Mondays! 

Well, so yesterday was the first trial for fencing. Yay~ I find it really a COOL game! But there's no free lunch right? If I join the club I'll have to pay 80 bucks fees on a monthly basis. I'll also need proper attire later on after I've learnt all the basics and the attire, which includes the chest protector(for females), a pair of gloves and 2 more protective layers. And they cost RM400. Hooh~ 

Investment?

So if I'm joining the fencing club then every Monday from 7-8 I'll have training session in IMU. I really think that this game is cool and fun. hehe...

University life started yea? Hmm...No idea. But I still need to work hard on my time management. hmm hmm... Work harder, yimin!

It's not the matter of time, is it?

Last time I used to blame myself for not blogging because I didn't have time. I don't have enough amount of time now as well, do I? But the difference is that now I HAVE TO blog because there are so much to tell, to share, and to express.

The 2nd week of class has passed. And tomorrow will be the beginning of the 3rd week in the first semester. We'll be doing FOUNDATION BLOCK throughout the entire semester. And next month there will be a Online Formative Assessment, whereas the In-Course assessment would be in the end of February, next year.

Imagine it's only the 2nd week and I already feel suffocated at times. I'm not really stressed. I'm not really torn. Well, I can't be dying in the SECOND week. But I feel like time really pasts extremely quickly. For today's lunch, I cooked some rice and soup using the rice-cooker. There's only one dish where everything is cooked together in the rice cooker but it took me 1 hour to do that! Is that my problem? I thought of not going out to buy food because I wanted to save up some time but eventually it seemed that preparing even the simplest meal takes a lot of time.

It's obvious I have to work out on my time-management. So as my stress-management. If my time is well-managed,I guess I wouldn't have stress management problem, probably.

LOL. I really have to focus a lot. Although I think that I spend most of the time on studies, I still have to be very alert of how much time has been used on unnecessary things, such as Facebooking and...etc.

All the best. You can do it. I hope that the next time I blog, I would be sharing about the happiness instead of stress and problems.

Recruitment drive

It's now exactly one month from the 1st day of commencement of class! Yesterday we had recruitment drive at the atrium. We got to choose whatever clubs or societies that we are interested in, then we sign up for it and go for trial sessions. There are so many kinds of clubs and even some that I haven't heard of before.

I find some clubs pretty interesting so I signed up for them. And everything seemed so attractive so I didn't really think twice before joining them and at the end of the day I realised that I have joined 11 clubs and societies. I joined games that I've never seen or experienced before, like fencing. I joined Squash as well. Oh yea, I joined the Yoga club as well. But these clubs except Squash club requires fees. Besides RM5 upon registration, for fencing, it is RM80 per month for a 1-hour session per week whereas it is RM120 for three months of yoga sessions, 1-hour per week as well. However, Squash is totally free. Even squash rackets and balls and transport to the stadium are provided. Well, I joined not because it is free but in fact, I have been thinking of playing squash for quite some time.

Besides games, societies that I joined are: First Aid Club, Debate Club, Speaking Club( or Speech Club), AMSA( Asian Medical Students' Association), Community Service Club, CruisAiders, ISOW( Support for women's club), Buddhist Society.

Wow! I wonder if I would have enough time for the activities! But there's one good thing of joining clubs in IMU is that activity attendance is not compulsory, so it's flexible for you to join or not =)

朋友怎么啦

妈妈说，在大学里，我们很难找到知己。我说，在大学里，要找到跟自己有相同志趣的朋友就很难了。
我不至于没有朋友，但是，我并没有感觉到友谊的真挚，或许，自己跟人家的频率不一样吧。很多人会认为我是安静的人，或是没有个性，因为他们并不认识我。在人群里，我不喜欢多话，不喜欢花言巧语，不喜欢不实际的动作。然而，我总会迁就大众。小的事情，我可以很随意接受。
比起大学里的一些人，我算是幸运吧。虽然没有找到有相同话题的朋友，但是懊恼至少不是因为自己感觉孤单，而是需要时间选择适合的朋友。
来到大学，如同来到新的城市。这里有很多各式各样的人，实在一言难尽。
没有朋友偶尔会让人烦恼，但是总比认识猪朋狗友好吧。当然，这只是比较。我庆幸自己没有认识猪朋狗友，只是，各有兴趣。

我想，一切顺其自然吧。要来的，总会来；要去的，总会去。
相信缘份，做好本分吧。

dam good ... midpoint of inguinal ligament Vs. mid-inguinal point

What is the difference between the midpoint of inguinal ligament and the mid-inguinal point?
Hah hah!!

First of all, we have to know that the inguinal ligament stretches from the ANTERIOR SUPERIOR ILIAC SPINE(ASIS) to the PUBIC TUBERCLE. The PUBIC SYMPHYSIS lies just medial to the PUBIC TUBERCLE and is the fibrous joint between the 2 halves of the pelvis.

Well, now that we have a rough idea of the position of the ASIS, PUBIC TUBERCLE and PUBIC SYMPHYSIS...

The midpoint of inguinal ligmaent is halfway between the ASIS and the pubic tubercle, which is the position of femoral nerve. It is used in femoral nerve blocks.

Whereas the mid-inguinal point is halfway between ASIS and the pubic symphysis, which is the position of the femoral artery. It is used in palpation of femoral pulse.

Hurray~

1st week of school

Hurray...One week of plenary has passed.
Students in IMU carry out a lot of self-learning. We get very few hours of plenary (a.k.a. lectures) everyday, sometimes as few as 1 hour a day. We have to go online and download the lecture notes from the e-learning portal so that before the plenary, we already know what we are going to learn.

I came from a Chinese school so basically I have to translate everything that I learned into English. It wasn't that tough so far but I really have to keep the pace and I can't afford to stop learning at any point of the time. There are so much to learn.

In IMU, I guess students are not so worried if they get too busy. But if we feel too relaxed or have too much time to enjoy life, then that is worrying because we probably are not doing what we're supposed. 2 hours of plenary a day and the rest of the day it's free and easy. No, It's free, but not easy. You have to manage your time really properly and carefully so that you plan everything that you do and not waste a bit of time. Timing is crucial. If you want to learn well, you have to study or at least glance through the lecture notes before each lecture and meanwhile, you have to revise on what you learned on that particular day. 5 pages of lecture notes seem so little but if you study all the slides, you might realize that there are so much ambiguity that you need to tackle before it becomes too complicated.

So I guess this is the scary part of self-learning. Because you have to be so disciplined and so alert of what you should do. Your future is in your hands. This statement has been embedded in my head for so many years but only now I realize how true it is. Nobody is going to tell you what to do, where to find out things that you're unsure etc. You certainly have to even find someone to benchmark against so that you won't feel like you're not doing the right thing.

Gosh! It's so much of differences compared to high-school life.
No worries. I'm definitely going to tackle it!
All the best ---- with all the blessings!

FOCUS FOCUS

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!!!
ORGANIZE!!!!!!!
PLAN!!!!!!!
TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!1


I LOVE YOU =)

IMU =) muackssss

today is the first time i ever blog after entering IMU.

There are a lot of emotions going on here. And i feel like I'm walking in dark alleys, climbing up rocky mountains, swimming down the streams and standing on mountains. 

I met all kinds of people here. Basically there are more or less 260 of us in the same batch, ranging from 18 to 22 (from what i know). Everyone really comes from a different background. We speak English of all kinds of accents. Personalities and behaviours vary a lot from one person to another. But there's one thing that is similar, that is the enthusiasm in doing medicine. As I know, there are at least 60 JPA scholars in the batch, which means, there is a rather high percentage of 'genius-like' people here and also, it means, a lot of things out there would be a lot of competitions.

I think I've get used to the environment now. Vista and IMU. I walk to school happily everyday, hoping to meet more friends and get closer to my groupmates. I'm lucky and I appreciate a lot for meeting such nice fellas in the group. Well, at least, they do no harm to me and they bring a lot of joy.

Today we had the first plenary at LT3. It's about proteins. The lecturer is from India I guess, because of his accents. I like his class. And after the first lecture, I feel more like a university student now. 

There are a lot of self-learning and student-centred learning in IMU. We have 2 hours of plenary a day generally. And all the other time there should be no other activities. But I do not expect myself to spend the day facebooking, blogging or hanging around with friends. Exam will be in 6 months time and it would be the first filter, which means, and according to the statistics every year, there would be 10% of students (+-26) failing the exam. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL. Because I cannot afford to fail it. 

I did Biology in Chinese when I was in high school. And I am NOT any smart person. I have to spend a lot of time studying. Therefore, I can't be any other person in IMU who take up lots of other activities, have fun, so on and so forth. I must have GREAT time management so that I can manage stress as well. 

I just celebrated my 19-year-old birthday a few days before. Now that I am a Uni student, somemore a medical student, somemore I'm not a billionaire's daughter, I HAVE TO do well in IMU.

Regardless of anything, I just need to do well.

Remember:

1.Manage your time. as dad always says, Fix it now, Do it now. 

2.I am not smart. So work triple harder than any other people.

3.Enjoy. Do great deeds to change your life for the better.

Finally,

All the best =)

百感交集

此刻的心情，是如此的复杂。
我看见彩虹，看见狂风暴雨，看见雨后初晴，还看见风涛骇浪。
我想，我的新生活，要开始了。

昨天，我跟爸爸妈妈一起把我的日常必需品都安置好在我的第二个家。这个10x12，将是我接下来2年半里的庇护所。房间本来显得有点凄惨，但是经过粉刷，挂上窗帘后，然后我们把东西都摆好后，整个氛围很不一样了。现在，那本来只有床垫的“床”已经铺上床单，tatami 和 棉被了，还有一个枕头和抱枕，房间看起来舒适无比。本来残旧的书橱，现在换成新的，而且还添了一个，一个是深褐色的，一个是干净的粉红色的，让我太喜欢了。挂上窗帘的窗口前，是摆放毛巾架的地方。那里还有一个蓝色的塑料盒子，里面都存放着食物和厨房用品。盒子旁边，是一个蓝色的水桶，里面放着我的梳洗用品。粉红色的书橱是爸爸妈妈买的，里面的4个柜，摆着一个电水煲，吹风筒和小小的饭煲，上面则摆着一面小小的镜子。那么褐色的书橱比较大，所以就放在书桌隔壁，以后会摆放许多我的医学书本吧。书橱旁的地上，放着一个小型的烫衣板和一个小小的蒸汽熨斗。书桌的另一端便是一个比较不好使的衣橱，虽然小，但是里面都挂满了我上学的衣服。那么床呢，便摆书桌前方。反正，整个房间看起来很舒服。感谢爸爸妈妈哦！

明天我就要独自搭火车去吉隆坡了。到了kl sentral，就转ktm，再转lrt,走10分钟就可以到IMU了。很是紧张，又有点雀跃。反正，百感交集。

希望一切顺利。
现在要出门载妈妈放学了。是开学前最后一次吧。哈哈。

Throbs from the glance

My heart was still hanging in the middle of the air when I reached home driving back from my drum lesson. I guess that was why I could drive so *smooth and so deftly on the road as if I were gliding on the road. Well I think it's because I've met some stranger who seemed so familiar to me. Probably I just recognized the wrong person. But that glance made my adrenaline shot and within that few milliseconds before I recovered from the trauma-like scenario, I could hardly breath. My hands seemed so powerless that I had to give several attempts to hold the pair of wooden drumsticks.

I couldn't help thinking of the reason.

Well, that person did invade my life but that happened almost more than half a decade ago. I was still but a young, naive, immature little lady who knew nothing about love. So when it approached me, and incessantly entered my little soul, I thought that was great not know what it was though. I accepted it, doubtless. But luckily I was very protective against almost everyone so I wasn't really hurt. At least, there left no scar in my heart. That is why I can't figure out why my heart still throbbed from that glance of harmless image. I can't be sure at all. But that reminded me of one very important thing in my life, that I must always think thrice before making any decisions and be prepared for the worst at all times.

That memory wasn't that bad at all after all. But the little shadow in my heart has always played an important role in reminding me all the time that I should always think further.

Good luck. May you meet the man in your life who will brighten up your life and you =) May you and he be blessed =)

Turn a new leaf?

I am used to setting new challenges and bigger goals for myself every time when it is a new beginning, for example, at the beginning of the year or when a new semester starts. Since last year when I completed my 6 years of high school, in fact, I have been thinking of new challenges to set. Maybe there are way too many things I have to accomplish, I couldn't figure out a specific goal for myself. After some struggling and thinking during these almost 8 months, I finally came out with a rough idea of what I strongly believe that I am supposed to do. Instead of saying that I should turn a new leaf, which might sound like I have done something bad though I had not, I should say that I need to set goals and challenges so that I am totally revitalized and full of energy and that might help me in becoming a more capable person in the future.

Now, I clearly know that I am pretty weak at social networking which means I am somehow reluctant to speak to people who I do not know. As a med student who wants to be a doctor so badly, this is not a small subject. I am very sure that a doctor cannot work by itself. A doctor who excels must work in a team. That means, a doctor must be able to get along well with other people easily. Hence, this has to be a new goal for me. I must always remember to take the initiative to meet new people. I must learn to speak and be much more outspoken. Social networking would be so vital that it may influence a doctor's job. I must take the opportunity to meet all kinds of people so that I give myself more chances to learn from the better.

Besides, I must pick up my English and Malay speaking skills. Perhaps it is because I am brought up in a Chinese-educated family and had been in a Chinese Private school, I seldom have a chance to speak in English and Malay. I think these two languages weigh as important should I serve as a doctor in Malaysia. I surely do not want to struggle in language barrier which will sound pretty ridiculous, both as a doctor and as a Malaysian. Therefore, I must speak a lot more English and Malay. I should not be any shy. At times, I should even speak in English only and get along with more English-educated people so that I have a bigger chance to learn and be initiative in speaking in the language.

It is my goals that I am going to challenge myself. I am going to strike it all the way. I am not going to run away from it. I MUST meet the goals. In less than 3 weeks, I am going to be a medical student in IMU. I am going to be the best of myself. I am going to work extra-hard and be very prepared that my university-life is not going to be easy. I must be very prepared that it might even seem disastrous. And I shall expect all the things more difficult and challenging than I could ever imagine. BUT I must not run away from any of them. I must always bear in mind one very important saying, which has been my companion during my hard-times while preparing for UEC last year, that is IF YOU DON'T QUIT, DON'T CHEAT AND DON'T RUN HOME WHEN TROUBLE COMES, YOU CAN ONLY WIN. For sure, I might lose a lot, but in the end, I will win because I can ONLY win from the bad times when I lost. Life's but a brief candle BUT it is in fact an amazing race.

I do not know what is going to fall on me in the next minute or TOMORROW. But as a living person, I shall be the best all the way. I shall live to the fullest. I shall strike for all I want. I shall be the best of what I want.

Yes. I do not know God I do not know Buddha and I do not know Lord Ganesha. But for now, I believe in myself but not being arrogant and proud of my self-being. I am but a tiny living creature in the world. But as I am given this opportunity to learn this world of colours and lives, I shall be the best.

Yes. Yes. All the best. All the way you go.

let thy emotion locked and thy shall hold the keys

It has been a couple of months since I first started driving on the road. Today, like sometimes, I drove myself to meet with my friends. But this time I parked at the carpark behind a bank. There is a notice board saying that it is the bank's private parking but I saw only a few cars parking there and because other parking spaces have been filled to capacity, I decided to park the car there. After happily saying good-byes to my friends, I realised that my car was blocked by a car. GOSH. It was 3.30pm and I should already be driving back to fetch my brother home from school. LOL. I started to get worried because I was going to be late. So I sent a message to mum telling her about this. And guess what, though expected, mum called back and her voice made my tears burst. I have no idea why this always happens when I hear mum's voice. I thought it's because she sounded like I have been crashed in a serious accident and probably would have both my legs amputated. GOSH. For a 19-year-old girl who is going to leave the house and live alone studying in a university, there should be no reason that I cannot handle this tiny little thing. I didn't even see this as a problem in fact! I could and should have resolved this problem myself. I decided to go to the bank and ask for assistance. Guess what, that lady staff at the Customer Service deck said that she had no idea whose car that was. Then I went to Yohan Bakery to ask too because that might be one of the customers' car as the parking lot is just next to it. Well, I ended up finding out nothing. Then I went back to the car and saw a Malay guy standing next to his car with his driver's door opened. So I asked if his car was blocked as well. How true. He faced the same situation. I told him about it and I was so lucky to have being told that the car that blocked my car belongs to one of the bank's staffs. Definitely I went straight to the bank.

Then Dad called me and I told him I was fine and could handle it. He was God-damned worried and LOL, I was trying to remind him that I am already 19 and should be able to handle it. It should be a piece of cake, in fact, it was. Then when I was in the bank waiting for my turn to talk to the same lady-staff, GOSH, this time Mum called me again. She was already shouting so loud that my voice started to tremble. Perhaps because of my stupid vocal chord that couldn't stop sounding like I was going to cry, Mum sounded so terrified that as if I was going to be murdered. I tried my best to convince her that I could handle it. Obviously I failed doing so because of my stupid trembling voice, she got even worse. And this time, she sounded as if I was going to be cut into a hundred pieces before being murdered and burnt into ashes. 

OMG

.....

....

...

..

.

Everything went back as usual then. Then I started to think about it. Now I'm so sure why I always want to leave the house sooner. Because it's for sure that I would not be able to learn overcome problems myself. It is NOT because of me but my parents who are always over-worried about a lot of silly things. I wondered, if I didn't inform Mum about the incident, I might have been scolded for reaching home late but perhaps I might be able to prove that I could really handle it MYSELF. GOSH. I really shouldn't have told the world about it. How silly I was!

That's why.

Why daddys and mummys nowadays are super-duper-worried about their children? I don't think they are treated like we are now when they were young in the bygone days. But why? Is it because the situation has worsen now in the sense that there are so many crimes happening out there? Or is it because parents in the modern days have fewer kids so children are more 'precious' and should be 'taken care' better? But by this way? So, perhaps a couple of decades later, kids are not going to be independent even when they have reached the age of becoming mothers and fathers. 

Parents play a really important role in the growing-up process of children.

Ooohh....

I still can't get rid of the silly, stupid and ridiculous feeling being treated like a 9-year-old kid. I mean, Com'on,  I can handle it well provided you TRUST me.

Dear Mum and Dad, I AM NOT A DONKEY, OKAY?

Anne Frank

Mum found a book, Anne Frank, the diary of a young girl, written by a 13-year-old Jewish girl who was one of the millions of victims during the 2nd world war. The book was introduced by Eleanor Roosevelt (well, I have no idea who he or she is, just for the sake of introducing this very wonderful book) and it was translated from the Dutch by B.M. Mooyaart-Doubleday. Amazingly, this book only costs me RM23.90 which is considered one of the cheapest book I own.

This book is extremely influential. It's most saddening while I read the entry of March 1944, knowing that by March 1945, Anne's dead. I had a feeling like I'm reading her thoughts which remained so matured, so stable and cheerful and optimistic even though she was only 13 at the moment. Being in the hiding for 26 months, it is definitely unbearable for any ordinary people. It is always much more terrible than we can ever imagine. Reading Anne's diary makes me feel so miserable because living such a comfortable life now doesn't make me a better person at all. Anne and her family, and even all the other Jews at the same circumstance surely had lived a much more contented life than I do now. That's why I feel so sorry for myself and for all the victims and survivals of the 2nd world war.

This book is very educational. I've never expected a girl at the age of 13 could write such amazing diary entries, in the sense that she had a very matured thought. Unlike teenagers nowadays who only think about what is so desirable in their lives. Materialism has definitely brought human beings to a low level that we are often ceased to improve our mentality and maturity.

Being able to read this book is really fortunate for me. I've never thought I could be at such a short distance to the real life of a Jewish victim. And this book has brought me so much closer to understanding the happenings during World War II. I am so glad that Mummy has introduced this book to me as it is so wonderful and memorable that I would recommend this book to any person who isn't illiterate. I hope that everyone who has read this book should gain a lot to improve one's life. A girl of 13 has just changed a lot of my life. But I am so glad. And now, I learnt that my life shouldn't be treated as such a boredom because there should be no such thing in this era where we live. I always imagine how we would be criticized and penalized by the victims of World War II should they have seen how we live our lives. We are the victims who are trapped in the walls of our heart, and so we have turned to be so cold to ourselves and every other person. I think one reason people still doing open burning so uncontrolled is that, they still feel cold in their soul despite a high temperature of 39 degrees.

Is this real?

Is this real? I am going to stay 200 kilometres away from home all alone. Wow. That sounds great, doesn't it? But when it comes to serious thinking about it, it isn't all that wonderful. Am I going to suffer from home-sickness, although it is only a 2-hour journey from home? Am I going to learn well in a totally new environment? Am I going to make a lot of friends? Am I going to be do well in medicine?

So many questions are surrounding my head. But I can't help thinking about them. What should I bring? What should I do with the room? Any repair work or painting to be done? Any extra cupboards necessary? Yes. In fact, the room looks so run down ( although it is within expectation ) that I extremely need to do something about it before moving in. Because very likely I'm going to stay there for the next 2 years.

The medium room which I'm going to rent is considered as fully-furnished. It consists of a queen-size mattress which is bare, means it is only a mattress without any cover over it, a study table and a wooden chair, a wardrobe which doors are hanging almost dangerously, a book rack with a few compartments, a table fan and, that is all. So definitely I have to bring a lot of things there!!

After having a short discussion with Mum and Dad, I decided that I should prepare the followings:
1. Pails ( a big one for laundry purposes, a small one for keeping toiletry)
2. Hanger + pegs + soap powder + detergent ( there is a washing machine, but I guess I need to bring my own detergent)
3. Book shelf ( that given book shelf is definitely too small)
4. Polystyrene board + double-sided tape ( it allows me to pin papers or notes on the wall, which would be pretty important)
5. Hook + String for curtain ( there is a window but its curtain is hanging on a string that looks like it will fall any time)
6. towel rack ( I'm not going to hang my towel in the bathroom)
7. linoleum ( for my study table so it would look nicer)
8. Dun-lope glue ( to repair the worn-out surface of wardrobe)
9. Extension wire ( for hair dryer, fan, laptop, table lamp, mini kettle etc.)
10. CD player ( I can't live without music)
11. Korean table ( I think I will eat in my room with that, it is very practical)
12. Ironing board + iron ( too bad, no ironing board is provided)
13. Cutleries including a cup, plate, bowl, fork and spoon, chopsticks etc.
14. Rice cooker
15. Mini kettle
16. floor towel
17. toilet slippers
18. chair ( I don't think I will feel comfortable with that stiff wooden chair)
19. Hair dryer
20. Pillow + bolster + blanket + comforter + bedsheets + tatami ( I am used to sleeping on harder surface instead of soft one)
21. Washing net
22. Toilet roll
23. Dustbin
24. Printer

So far it is No.24 and I guess the list will go on very likely. All the best! You are going to live alone and guess what, you're not dreaming. It is real! True! You don't need Mummy anymore! You can't depend on her! Please be independent!

=) Cheers!!

弟弟阿，你什么时候明白？

我的心好痛。怎么会这样。弟弟，你什么时候变得那么坏了？
午夜12点15分了，我突然从梦中惊醒，发现你没有在床上。爸爸说你在念书，我却看见你在我的书桌上，书本放在面前，电脑荧幕却也亮着。我是你姐姐阿，4年前，我也是15岁，我也在准备初中统考。你在做什么，我怎么会不知道呢？很多时候，你在搞叛逆，我看了也没多说什么。我不是不在乎，无所谓阿，我一直在给你改过的机会。但是，你好像从没发现。为什么非让爸爸妈妈生气不可呢？妈妈在骂你的时候，我不是什么话也没说吗？如果你做得对，我怎么会让妈妈继续责怪你呢？然而你做得错，我却也没有火上加油，落井下石阿。我好希望，你可以像我以前这样，从爸爸妈妈的责骂声中发现自己错在哪里，然后悬崖勒马阿。

每个青少年都有自己搞叛逆的一段时间。可我怎么看，也不觉得你是那所谓的搞叛逆阿。放学回到家一直到晚上睡觉，你有没有好好跟家人说话？你的礼仪去哪了？记得我以前叛逆的那段时期，只要我稍微让爸妈不满意，或者让人误以为是在发脾气，我一定会被骂得狗血淋头。可能因为我是女孩子，刚好我的性格跟你又不一样，我渐渐地学好了。现在，我看见你那幅目无中人的德性，有时候真的好想让爸妈多点骂你，让你觉悟。可是，那是4年前的爸爸妈妈。4年后，爸妈好像没有像以前那样教育孩子了。是不是他们也放弃了呢？还是，那一套已经不管用了？怎么办，姐姐看见弟弟现在这个样子，真的好愧疚，好难受。你是爸妈过后，我唯一最亲的家人了。爸妈老了，走了的时候，这个世界就只剩下你和我是最亲的了。我看见别人家的兄弟姐妹搞得不和气，感觉很糟糕的。我不想以后你长大了，也像他们那样活着。我好害怕，长大后的你，会学坏，脾气暴躁，没有责任感，没有勇气，傲慢，目无中人阿。怎么办？姐姐从没想到你的脾性是如此起伏不定，像枚定时炸弹一样啊。

弟弟，你什么时候才明白呢？这个没有文字的道理，你什么时候才懂得？
难道你就没有想过，珍惜家人真的很重要？弟弟，你真的太幸福了吗？难道就没有设想过，万一有一天，爸妈突然消失了，你怎么办？最爱你的人不见了，你到那个时候才后悔莫及？还是，你还是那样变本加厉地活着吗？你已经15岁了阿。15岁真的不小啊。我15岁的时候，已经设定人生目标，学习认真地活着了。我叛逆的时候，应该是10岁的时候吧。过后，我再没有真的让爸妈伤心了。

弟弟，你一定要成材阿。最重要是要懂得待人处事的道理。我无法忍受你对待家人的态度。他们是世界上最爱你的人啊，你怎么不懂得珍惜眼前的幸福？

唉。难道人类就是如此令人肝肠寸断？难道人类就是喜欢后悔莫及？

my dear old friend

" Bambambam...If that's ok with you....I love the way that you look without your makeup...bambambam..."
It is 7.45am and I get up from the bed like I have slept for 8 hours, which in fact, I have not. Instead, only 4 hours. LOL. It is the sound from the school speakers. That is my good friend's voice, of course, a recorded one.

During my high school days, we used to have 3 assemblies weekly. Before the principal and the teachers spoke, students had to do some physical exercises with an emcee conducting it on the stage. And that was my friend's job.

She is considered one of my very best friends. In fact, it can be said that she is my closest of best friends. However, unlike any other good girl friends in the class who liked to stick to each other most of the time, she and I seldom do so, especially in the final year of school. If somebody asks me who my best friend is, it wouldn't be truthful enough that she is the first person who comes to my mind. But I would hesitate to tell he or she.

I've known her for more than 6 years now. We have been very good partners and friends. We took part in all sorts of competitions. In class, we were always the top students. We were in the prefect board and that made us even better companions. She taught me a lot of things that are useful in life. Like how to treat your parents if you wish to get something from them. Ha-ha. This sounds a little not-so-good, doesn't it? But honestly, things like that are very useful. In other words, I learnt from her to do things with a double-winning solution. However, ironically, I don't like her that much. She is a very strong and competent person. Of course, this is not the reason that makes me not like her. It is actually because she does thing way a little too smooth. And she goes all the way for the thing she wants. Yes, she is a very determined person. But this also made her a little selfish. And I can't stand that.

However, overall, she is a friend worthwhile to befriend with. But not a working partner.

《能听到我的心吗》

我像一般女孩子一样，喜欢韩剧。韩剧让人陶醉，让人有梦幻的感觉，让人有梦想成真的感觉，让人有重生的感觉。《能听到我的心吗》是我目前的排行榜首号，也是唯一让我留恋，回味无穷的一部。

 以前高中一的时候，同班女生都在是韩剧的迷，过后，我也“后来居上”了。但是，究竟是什么因素让人无法自拔呢？我还是无从得知。

统考结束了，在等大学开学的那段日子，我也就有更多机会接触韩剧了。看的韩剧好多阿。分析的时间，思考的时间也多。在我看来，很多人认为韩剧让人陶醉的地方并不纯粹因为韩星“长得帅”“长得美”，当然这也是重点之一。更重要的，是因为剧本写得好。某一时期的韩剧的故事情节其实一成不变，不像欧美电影一样，因为情节令人振奋人心而收视率大增。大多数人不会重复看同一部韩剧。
那原因是什么呢？犹记得我看的第一出韩剧是《冬季恋歌》，距今已有10年了吧。那2，3年间的作品，譬如《蓝色生死恋》《天国的阶梯》等都是悲剧。每个投入其中的观众肯定泪流满面。那个时候，是我第一次因为电视剧而流泪。可能因为这样，大家都认为韩剧作品非常不错，因为演技逼真。那过后，大概5年前吧，人们也许对悲剧厌倦了，韩剧因此有了新的面目。韩剧作品不再是悲剧，反而是喜剧了。韩剧的观众还是一样捧场，因为喜剧真的可以令人笑破肚皮，还可以令人暂时忘记所有忧伤。到现在，韩剧还是有明显的发展的。从一个时期到另一个时期，韩剧带给人们的感觉是新颖的，根深蒂固的。这10年来，我感觉韩剧变得更成熟了。一流的韩剧越来越多，让人更加回味无穷。

除了剧本写得好，演技非常重要。比起港台内地剧场（本地的就不谈了）韩剧的演技非常优秀。就是小孩的角色也演得很好。韩剧里面的哭戏肯定有泪水，即使是小孩也一样。其中让我惊叹的就是他们的演技。
再来，角色搭配很好。饰演的所有角色，配合剧本，从来很少看到有破绽的，而且演技不造作，非常自然。还有，我喜欢他们的眼神。眼睛是心灵之窗吧。好多时候，是因为演员本身投入的好，而且善于表达，他们的眼神就占了一大半因素，让他们显得非常自然。

还有，韩剧的服装总是很得体。即使是乞丐，打扮得就似个乞丐。就是扮演的角色再穷，也没有重复的服装。实在令人惊叹阿。当然，他们的服装设计新颖，摩登。单是服装，就令人爱戴不已了。

韩剧的发展带给大韩民国很多的好处。韩剧影响力很大。看了韩剧，人们对韩国了解的更深一层了，而且都有一股劲儿想学韩语。

8月开学以后，我大概没什么时间像现在这样可以每天看韩剧了吧。哈哈！这是我给自己的借口，所以现在一直在看咯！喜欢韩剧的朋友们，我觉得阿，韩剧真的有理由让人着迷哦。尤其是女生们，因为韩剧的角色优秀，演员显得更帅气，我们不知不觉陶醉其中。何乐而不为？戏剧本来就是纯属虚构的，人们因为在现实中找不到自我，找不到让人信服的东西，也找不到让自己活得更精彩的理由，所以才看戏阿。韩剧陪伴了我好多好多的人生了。从准备考试到考试结束了，韩剧一直让我有重生的感觉，让我不禁鼓起勇气，更有活力的向前迈进哦。

GO GO GO

Hurray ~ Looks like mid-June has approached.
How happy it sounds! But it also sounds sad. It seemed that I have not been spending my time to the full with meaningful things. Ha-ha.

Well, like what I have been doing since I left school last year, on and off I have been preparing for my university life. It sounds so great, doesn't it? My friend who is already a 2nd year student in the same university as I told me that it did feel amazing realizing that she is already a 2nd year medical student. She finds everything great and wonderful as she has always been wanting to be a doctor so much.

I AM A VERY DETERMINED PERSON.
I kept telling this to myself. Even if I get uncertain with my future path at times, I will surely get back on track and full-fill my every dream. In other words, I AM GOING TO BE VERY DETERMINED BECAUSE I HAVE TO. I AM GOING TO MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

Well, now that I have submitted the scholarship application form to the university ( which criteria weren't met at all , LOL,  but with a lot of hope still ), I have been in search of ROOMS TO LET!! Yeah~ I decided not to rent from the university itself because it would cost me almost double.

I would say that I am lucky enough because I would be staying only 5-minute walking distance from the campus. There are several blocks of apartment. And luckily, the one I lately decided to rent from is one of the nearest. The environment is not bad. Because that is a dead end and so I guess it wouldn't be too noisy.

It is Vista Komanwel C1-15-7. Rented to only females who are currently students of IMU and APIIT. Smoking isn't allowed. And the entire apartment is fully-furnished. So I guess it would be good enough for me. Finally, my dad and I decided to rent a medium room which is roughly 130 square feet. I would single-occupy the room because mum and dad say they would probably pay me visits every now and then, then they can stay overnight at my place to save a lump sum of money! It is 500 dollars a month exclusive of utility bills. But it would be alright compared to 250 dollars a night in the hotel. So I guess it wouldn't be too bad after all =)

Love's Philosophy

I came across this poem by chance and I'm in love with it.

It's Love's Philosophy by Percy Bysshe Shelley(1792-1822)

LOVE'S PHILOSOPHY

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the Ocean,

The winds of Heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine? ---

See the mountains kiss high Heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven 

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

IELTS results

my IELTS results

After some hard work and worries, finally, I'm relieved. Now I have everything required prepared. All I have to do is to wait for the August intake! I'm really looking forward to learning in a university. 8 months have passed after UEC and very soon it is the time for me to commit in my studies. As becoming a health professional has been my dream, I'm definitely going to strike it, all the way! I read blogs of some doctors. Their lives really attract me so much. A lot are very committed and they really write like a doctor. Some scary but truthful facts didn't stop me from pursuing my dream but instead my wills grew stronger. I'm now very sure that I am determined to fulfil my dream. No matter how hard it might be, I am going to strike it. 

I went to Perth with my family last week. I love the place. 9 to 5 job, very less Overtime. People walk in a very slow pace. Drivers never honk. People obey to rules. I enjoy staying there a lot, even though it was only a few days. I have a friend who did her Masters degree there. She's now working in a big company with a bridging visa. 

Someday, I want to work in a place of different cultures. I think it enables me to learn and to transform into a better individual. I will not stay in one place for the rest of my life. I will not do things for the reasons that I am supposed to. I will excel. I must fly. 

don't think. do it.

what is the perception of a doctor's life?! 1500 words? How to start? Darling, this should be an easy job. What's the big deal? Why is it so hard to get it done?

all the best. 1500 words is nothing compared to the coming challenges!! the fact is, you're going to be a med student. so you should be able to tell what's YOUR perception of a doctor's life.

extremity

Sometimes when I hope for something so badly I swear to the god that I won't eat for another 3 days.
Sometimes when you don't expect much from something, it just comes to you.

Every night I suffer from Insomnia. That's how people describe Insomnia, like it's a sort of a suffering. But I don't feel so at all, at least, at the point of time, Insomnia gives me the chance to picture my future. I build sandcastles at night. But what's so bad about it? Building sandcastles enables me to clarify a lot of things that I've decided. And it gives me such a great opportunity to follow my heart.

Frankly speaking, I don't know exactly how a doctor's life is. I only learn from books, magazines, newspapers and blogs of health practitioners. It is often described using adjectives like hectic, busy, packed, challenging, exhausting....so on and so fourth. I know nothing about it. But all I know is that it is not going to be easy. So what? I mean, nothing is easy in this world. And I'm a Virgo, who seeks for new challenges and perfection. I am high-spirited when I get my schedule packed and when my limbs hardly can move a little. I am moody and hopeless when I am staying at home doing nothing.

What's  the perception of a doctor's life? Well I have to write about it at least 1000 words. What's it?
Perception?
I have no idea.
All I know is that a doctor's job shouldn't be treated as any ordinary 9 to 5 job. Instead, it is lifestyle. You don't say that my job is a doctor but I live a doctor's life.
And, a doctor is passionate, helpful, ready to sacrifice, hardworking, brave, good at leading a team, good at communicating...but aren't these the basic criteria of being a doctor? These are personalities that grow within yourself. You don't learn to be a doctor just because you think you want to be a doctor.
What is a doctor? Who is a doctor? What is so big about it? What makes me want to be one? Why do I want to be one?
People look up on a doctor but not a lawyer? But what's the great deal of 'being looked up on'?
A doctor has a stable life? stable income? guaranteed future? What is this? Do you have any idea how much a doctor has to sacrifice?
You like to help people? LOL. Why don't you be a successful businesswoman and give out 80% of your properties to the needy ones? Isn't this easier?
You love challenging work? Come on, do you know sitting at a clinic from 9 to 9 isn't interesting at all? You might even get piles because of this.
Or maybe you see yourself working in an operation room? or the ER? I see. Are you sure you're going to enjoy the 24-hour on call life? You might have to rush to the hospital while you're making love to your boyfriend. You might have to rush to the hospital while breast feeding your baby. Are you sure you want to have a life like this?

What's the perception of being a doctor?
You are the candle which burns itself out. You won't be able to polish your nails. You won't be able to do facial everyday. You might as well treat the ER like your 2nd home.

YIMIN, you want to be a doctor so much. It's costing your parents a lot, do you know?
It's going to take you 7 years to complete the most basic course and it definitely won't be enough for you be cause you don't want to spend the rest of your life in a clinic. And it's going to cost much more if you're going for specialization, which you would have to sacrifice on your personal time as well as health in future. Are you sure you're going to go all the way for it?

YIMIN, it's taking up a lot of your time and energy just to overcome the financial problem. Well it shouldn't be a problem but it's absolutely a big burden. You might get 150k from the PTPTN loan and what about the other 220k? Are you going to get a bank loan which would cost an interest rate of more than 12%? AND don't forget, this is solely the MBBS program FEES. Accommodation? so on...?

YIMIN. You've never hesitated. That's what's so worrying. Once you've decided to take it, you'll have to strike it. Time doesn't go back for you. So it seems that you are so sure about your decision that you definitely won't give up half way. Of course, you won't afford to do so.

YIMIN, my rational mind has been taking a lot of time to accept the truth that you are going to work in a hospital perhaps in 5 years time if everything goes right.

OKAY. YIMIN, That's you. A Virgo. A perfectionist. A striker.

ALL THE WAY.

 AT LAST
I see the beams of light that lead me to somewhere.

It's Thursday, 7th of April. Exactly a week after I got to know that I am REJECTED by all the Taiwan universities I applied. 7 days and now I'm back to normal in the sense that I'm at least clearer about the things and tasks I should be carrying out now.

The Manipal Vs. IMU stuff is now settled.
After all the thinking, discussions, comparisons and analysts made,
AT LAST
Dad, Mum and I came up with a collaborative decision that I would further my studies in IMU.
What a great idea. ( in the sense that at least now I know where I'd be going)

Then there's another big headache:
IMU MBBS OR IMU PMS ?
Local 5 years Vs. 2.5 + 2/3/4 years (abroad)
370K Vs. 188K + 500K

Check this out: http://imu.edu.my/pro-un-fee.html

In Malaysia where the currency is considered almost lower than most of the countries, to study abroad especially pursuing in medicine requires almost a million ringgit. That's a very small amount for Europeans or Americans. But to a Malaysian who came from a middle-class family, that's a great sum of money. In other words, you have to be a millionaire's child OR you have to be a jackpot winner.
I've understood too much about this so elaborating it here seems meaningless. And honestly I don't like to do so. I'm bored with it.


SO
As the consequence that I'm not a millionaire's daughter or I haven't yet won in a jackpot, I would pursue MBBS in IMU. I'm grateful for it. ( Some people don't even get to complete their secondary education)

There are a couple of tasks I have to do NOW
1. Make an appointment with IMU person-in-charge. Need to know more about the medical program and MY FUTURE.
2. Decide which IELTS lesson in ILTI. Group or Individual. (The whole thing plus the exam would cost my dad almost 900 ringgit.....gosh)
3. Keep track to SCHOLARSHIPS OR GRANTS AND LOANS
 --- HongLeong Foundation Scholarship programme 2011
 --- IMU / John Beck Scholarship
 --- PTPTN loan
 --- I hope I can get more info !!!

Doctors save lives! But why is it so difficult to get a scholarship or even a grant or loan? Because doctors don't work for businessman or big companies? So rich companies don't sponsor med students?? Isn't that ridiculous?  That isn't fair at all. Doctors save lives!!

Pray  Pray  Pray.


BEST OF LUCK !!!

Daddy Funk Does A Funky Drum Solo

Cheer up.

I JUST DIDN'T GET IT

Am I dreaming? Nightmare? 

No, you're not.

Am I mistaken? Maybe you skipped your name?

Nope. You're mind is as clear as crystal now.

So you're not going to be able to study in Taiwan, right?

Yea, exactly.

Okay. I just didn't get it. I wasn't shortlisted. I was abandoned to the 'foundation group'. And I am obviously not going to take it.

Yea, I love Taiwan. It's a wonderful place to work, to study, to live. But sometimes things just don't work out the way we wish. It doesn't care how much we have dreamt for, how much we have wished for. Whatever will be, will be. And now, that's it. 

But don't worry. It's not the end of the world yet. You can't go to Taiwan maybe it's just that because your luck isn't better than those who are shortlisted? Or maybe studying in Taiwan isn't the best choice?

Whatever.

But I always consider it the best choice ever.

Whatever.

What I'm going to do now is what I have to do and I will do it, willingly, confidently, rationally and with much faith.

Okay. I'm very conscious now. I'M NOT GOING TO STUDY IN TAIWAN.

That's it. That's the end of the story. No more dreams, okay? Grow your seeds in some other places XD

Fine. 

Now, the problem is, MANIPAL or IMU?

Are the use of cadavers in teaching very vital? Gosh! How would I know? I'm not a doctor yet. But definitely that sounds much more interesting. 

What about the reputation? IMU OR MANIPAL is better? How would I know! I'm not the judge =(

Gosh. This is GOING TO BE A BIG HEADACHE....luckily there's still time to think about it. Yea, roughly 30 days.

Okay!!!! Cheer up buddy. You're going to be a med student and definitely you're going to be a great doctor. 

Best of luck ;)

Love you very much !

What will be, will be. Where am i going?

It's 3/31 1222 midnight and my eyes are wide open.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be. 

Dear mother, the future's in my hands and the results are out soon!!
Would I be accepted?Am I? Would I study in Taiwan? Can I? Would I be a great person? Would I be a doctor? A great doctor? 

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future is in your hands,

Que Sera, Sera,

What will be, will be.