Great achievements!

I had a wonderful day today!! I probably have saved lives today.

I signed up as a volunteer in a community project run by EMPOWERED and 20 other government or non government organisations, namely COLON CANCER SCREENING PROJECT. The purpose of this project is to save lives by early detection of colorectal cancer. There are 3 targeted communities, 3/4 zones in each communities. My job today as a registrar was to help the residents in INTAN BAIDURI, one of the zones in one of the communities in the Selayang area, to register them to take part in this project. I had to take very informal history of the residents who are mostly Malay-speakers in order to determine their eligibility in the screening. The doctor-in-charge of this masterpiece is Dr. Christina Ng who came back from the University of Melbourne. She guided us on how to complete the questionnaires for the residents and some important points to take note of. This was actually my second time of history-taking and it turned out that I had to speak in Malay at all! Guess what, I would say that today I got to speak the most Malay in my life! Well, truth to be told, I certainly think that my Malay sux. But luckily most of the residents whom I interviewed today were pretty illiterate and they knew nothing more about Colon cancer. So with my very limited Malay vocab and communication skills, I tried my best to communicate with them and make them understand what I was trying to tell. At least I think I've done a great job. I actually interviewed 8 residents..well, in 4 hours though, but there were more than 50 questions to ask. Imagine I got to get consent from the people and most of the 50 questions I got to explain to them before they got to give me the correct answer. So, personally I think I've achieved a lot....as in, well, this is the first time ever I took history in MALAY, TOTALLY. I mean...WOW!

Well I talked to only 8 persons today, all are residents from Intan Baiduri, which is a Malay area of the low income group. The eldest was already 79, and the youngest 54. I would say that they are very nice people although they know very little about health consciousness, and although I spoke with them in a very "bahasa paku" accent but extremely broken language. They were very patient =) I actually hope they really did understand everything I said. ha-ha.

I learnt a lot in today's event. Not only how to communicate in a very *new* language (well, to me, this is true, I've never spoken so much Malay before, not even 10% of today's achievement) with people whom I do not know, and who are from a very different background compared to mine. I asked about their personal details at first, like if you're married, what do you do and so on. Then I asked some Yes No questions that determined whether they are eligible for the screening. One lady actually happened that she lost 7 kg in the last 8 or 9 months because she's got admitted to the hospital due to stroke. I had to apologize to her trying my best to explain to her that this might affect the accuracy of the results. I guess she was pretty disappointed at that moment but luckily she was quite optimistic as well. I tried my best to tell her to take good care of herself. I was sad too ( because most of them came for the 5Kgs rice provided they are eligible for the screening).

From other perspectives, I learnt a lot when I got the chance to meet people who are so poor. One of the Indian ladies actually survives with only RM500 a month, which is the amount of her husband's pension. She has to take care of her grandchildren as well. I was pretty miserable inside when I asked her about the pay she got if there's any. Another Indian guy was working as a gardener in KL international school. I guess he could hardly understand what I was trying to tell because his daughter was there to do translation. And when I asked him how often does he eat vegetables, fruits and meats, his daughter told me that he eats only 2 meals a day, one at 12 at noon and another at 12 midnight. Gosh. And he has red meat like beef and mutton, even chicken, only a few times in a week.

When I think of myself I feel so shameful. I am living in heaven compared to them! I'm not being sympathetic but empathetic. But one very important thing that I learnt today is to appreciate everything I have. I talked to Mum and she actually kept on reminding me of how good my life is. She encouraged me to give away the things I have and to share them.

In the very near future, I'm going to keep up the pace to be a volunteer in community-based  project like this one. I truly feel glad to have the chance volunteering in this project. It is definitely incomparable to sitting at home studying for 8 hours. I would never have learnt this much from books =)

Thank you so much! to whoever and whatever that brought me to this volunteering job.
I'm going to be a merrier person from today onwards!!

**One more achievement today: Good news! I actually went for a swim after coming back from Selayang!! Hurray! I'm going to swim swim swim!!

What's the problem here -- to swim or not to swim?

To swim or not to swim? What is the great deal that is worth my time to blog about?

It's been more than 3 weeks since the last time I went for swimming. And the last time I swam, it was after at least 3 weeks I went for swimming. The swimming pool is only downstairs! I don't have to drive, don't have to take a cab. It is just but a 3-minute walk! And I have no freaking idea what stops me from doing so!

I always want to be a healthier person. I always want to swim everyday. I always tell myself that I will try my best to exercise EVERYDAY for several reasons. So I guess I would have to list down all the pros and cons for going or not for swimming so that I have a clearer and better reasons to go swimming! And possibly, to make my goals specific only so that they are more feasible to be fulfilled.

First of all, I am such a person who does not break promises without very good reasons. So what I confess or promise here I would surely, and I MUST, implement with ACTIONS.

Swimming is the best sports ever in the sense that it avoids injuries because water helps reduce impacts on the body. This is one indisputable reason. But why I always want to swim and every morning I still wake up with guilt that is killing me? Why, at the moment I get up from the bed, I would tell myself "tomorrow"? What is the subconscious motion behind this? I really don't understand my MIND. What's in her mind now? One moment she swears that she's going to swim and when it's time she tells herself not to swim.

In addition, for health benefits, I must swim often. I'm such an unhealthy person that I hardly pass motion everyday and I think that is really really bad. I don't want to store overnight toxins and stools in my body. That is disgusting, isn't it? I tried eating 1 grapefruit a day and it helps but now it seems not that helpful anymore, I guess I'd just have to SWIM. Health is definitely a big thing to me. Without good health, I'm DEAD. I'm not going to be an unhealthy doctor, after spending so much money on my 5-year education as a medical student, haven't yet mentioned the future specialisation with that I'd probably carry on, I cannot afford to let myself fall sick. 'I'd rather get stomach ache than constipation' This shows how concern I am to overcome constipation.

Next, I am turning 20. I want to wear nice dresses!! I don't want to look like a dumbass that looks like a pear or an apple. I don't want to be FAT. Well it is unhealthy and this restricts me in the choices of clothings I wear. And I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN ON ME ANYMORE after so many years. It's desperate to say but it's a fact that I haven't been 'slim' for all my life. OOH...I seriously want to change!!

Okay, so what's the stupid reasons stopping me from swimming?
1. weather - it's been raining season. I don't want to be dead stricken by lightnings!
2. Laziness - WTH is this? Now that I am conscious and *wise, I can't be surer that this is definitely not a reason. It's a very LAME excuse indeed.
3. hahh! Again, this is not going to be a reason. Time-consuming? What is more important than your health??

Yimin wake up now. Get yourself in the pool! You need to move it move it!! You can't afford to store more fat anymore!! You're going to look HORRIBLE and AWFUL. Please!! Swim swim swim!! Let mummy and daddy know that you are matured and capable to manage your HEALTH! You're turning 20 so please act like an adult. Do it!! Just do it!! Don't think. Just don't give yourself even half a second thinking of GOING OR NOT. Just do it!!!!!

Okay, just do it. So try your best to GO!!!! SWIMMING!!!

-make you lighter-
-smile and laugh more-
-go swimming-

1st hospital visit [Nursing week]

Hurray. Yesterday was my first hospital visit to Hospital Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan. It's nursing week therefore we were supposed to tour around the hospital, get to know more about the hospital setting and observe how the nurses carry out their tasks.

Personally I find the trip average. It wasn't as fruitful and as helpful as I expected as the session was so short which lasted only about 2.5 hours. We weren't shown how to wash our hands, wear gloves and so on. One of the sisters brought us around the hospital, and briefed us when we went to have a look at the dialysis centre, the ayurveda treatment centre, female and male wards, paediatric ward and the mortuary. My group was considered lucky as we were allowed to take a look in the mortuary. There were 3 cases on that day.

There were really nothing much in the hospital to describe actually. However, this trip isn't that bad after all. You see, IMU is such a comfortable university where the entire building is air-conditioned, with escalators even though there are only 3 floors and most of the floor is carpeted. Compared to a government hospital, for example, the PD hospital's setting was such a vast difference. I think there is a reason for the trip to the hospital. Because we students tend to *forget, somehow, the real setting and environment of the hospital where we'd be working in the future. This is very important because it reminds us that we would be servants of the community because we serve the community by giving treatments and consultations. And everything would be carried out in the hospital...which means, we must always remember that it is not necessary that we get to work in an air-conditioned comfortable environment like what we are having now in the university.

=)

And...I actually feel sad when I see the patients in the dialysis centre. I always remind myself not to show sympathy BUT empathy. Imagine, there's a Chinese patient who has been doing dialysis for the past 24 years, which, each session lasts for 4 hours and the patient has to undergo 3 sessions in a week. There are a lot of restrictions to the diet as well, like a limit to the amount of fluid they take and so on.

Uhhh huhh...I feel like I am such a NUBIE that there are so many things that I don't know. I need to learn a lot and therefore I shouldn't stop learning!!

I love bones, SERIOUSLY

my favourite skeleton, JOHN.

My mates with who I learn about bones =)

This recent I have been spending quite a lot of time with the skeleton.
After a few listening to a few lectures by Dr. Nilesh Kumar, I strongly feel that I like anatomy a lot. In fact I love listening to his lectures, either it is the plenary or the Medical Museum Session.

I enjoy so much even it's only looking at the models, like the skeletons, muscles and even the cadaver. I know it sounds weird when I tell my friends that I like *touching* the bones and the smell of the cadavers. People might think that I'm crazy. The cadaver doesn't smell nice at all but I like it. Well of course, I like not really the smell, but the atmosphere. I like to be in the medical museum. It reminds me of being a medical student * of course I am a medical student now but at times I forgot, seriously, perhaps due to the hectic schedule of the everyday routine*. I'm learning so many new things. I feel like I've grown up a lot. And I realised that there are so many things out there that I've not come across, nor have I even heard about at all. There are so many knowledge to learn, and I realized how much stronger I have to grow.

I hereby wish myself a happy and exciting journey in learning, in the journey of becoming a competent medical student, and becoming a successful doctor in the near future

boosters needed =)

I'm happy these few days. Really? Well I'm not so sure but I think I'm supposed to be happy. I found my file and the book I borrowed from the library. It happened yesterday when I had a meeting with the Halloween committees members in the SRC room. I saw my belongings on the meeting table. It just appeared out of no reason. I was so sure that I brought it to CSU and it appeared right in front of my eyes in SRC. My friend saw me taking the book with me. Ahh! Whatever. Anyway, I should be so glad because * luckily I haven't paid for it, which costs me RM150 inclusive of RM25 service charge. ( I actually purposely delayed making the payment and wished for miracles) And it happened. So fantastically and unexpectedly. I'm so glad now that I saved such a lump sum. Yea, it's true, RM150 is a big number to me because it doesn't worth it and it would strike me hard for not being responsible enough. Now, it seemed that everything is so bright. Although I still have no idea about the fact, that, if I didn't take the book along with me OR if someone else took it and was kind enough to return it to me.

The thing that I want to emphasize is not the narration of how and what it all happened. It's my emotions. Life seemed to be so freaking hectic that I almost lost my sense of living. I don't know how I feel and in fact, I feel numbness of feelings. Sometimes, well, most of the time, if I'm happy enough I feel so light and bright, and if I feel sad enough, I'd feel like I'm going to die BUT if my mood is moderate I would feel nothing, or literally, I feel senseless. It bothered me so much that I wondered if there's something wrong with me.

Everyday is so similar.
Everyday after school I'd take the same lift back to the floor where my unit is, and I'll walk at the same pace to the unit, then to my room and then take a shower. Then I'd switch on the computer and start doing my stuff, either updating FB status or checking out for lecture notes of the next day. Probably I'd take a short nap and when I feel hungry I'd cook and eat. After dinner, usually around 6 or 7 I'd start studying and by 12 I'll go to bed, which is just behind the desk where I study, after preparing the cereal drinks for the next morning. The next day begins at 7 when I get up. And I'd be walking to school at the same pace and around 7.50 I'd reach the auditorium where I have the first lecture of the day. There are always 2 lecture, each lasts for 1 hour, with a 15-minute interval. Then around 10.30 I'd either grab a bun from de Brio, or go to the library to *have a look or a touch in the medical museum. Around 12 I'd have lunch with my mates and after that if I have nothing for the day I'd spend a few hours in the library, usually the medical museum, with my mates and then I'll go home, walking at the same pace as well. And the routine repeats everyday.

Everything that I do every day seems so similar and monotonous, *well it's not boring at all, but, too similar* that at times I have to refer to the calendar to check the date of the day. I cannot even remember which day of the week it is. And time pasts so fast that now it's already Thursday night of the 6th week and I was still wondering what lecture I had on Monday, of which I thought just happened the day before.

I need booster. In fact, a lot of boosters. I have to make everyday a different and special day. Life is without meaning when every day looks like the same day.

Caffeine is not working at all. It only contributes to dizziness and motionlessness.

Well anyway, Mum and Dad are coming over on Friday night and I'm FREAKING glad. It's been 3 weeks since the last time I spent time with them *although I felt like it was just yesterday*....

I'm really looking forward to spending time with them, even a breakfast is going to boost me a lot and a lot!
Even now when I think of them I feel like my tears are going to burst. I didn't realise how much I need them before I left home.

Mum & Dad, you created me nine months before 8th of September of the year 1992 and I'm so grateful that you brought me to Earth. It's so amazing that now I'm studying about the human body, which is all about miracles that are so mesmerizing. I feel guilty when I feel helpless showing my gratitude to you, that you brought me to this world of miracles, which is of myriads colours.

lovely saturday

I woke up at 7.30 today and the first thing I noticed when I got up from the bed was that I had a really sweet dream the previous night. That made me a little miserable actually because I realized I came back to the reality and that I have a whole 1 inch of double-side printed, lecture notes to be covered.

I spent my day in the library. I spent almost 5 hours in the medical museum. And I like it a lot. I like the place so much. I feel like I'm energetic and 'alive' when I look at all the models of different parts of the human body which is placed everywhere in the museum. 

I met a Sem 5 senior there before I left then. He shared a lot on what is more important and what is not so on anatomy, as he saw me studying in front of the skeleton. I appreciated it a lot although I still don't know his name. And I see hope. I see some direction. I see, at least, some beams of light ahead of me.

Tomorrow the library is open from 12 to 5 because it's Sunday. And I'm definitely going to the library as well =)

I like to be in the library because I like the environment, the setting there. I can focus better there rather than at home. 

Then I got a booster right before I walked to the escalator. Yea, I saw ChihYean and I was so happy for no reason. I guess it's because I hardly talked to anyone for the whole day. And having the chance to meet someone I know it made my day. Then I had dinner with him. LOL. I had Nasi goreng Ikan Masin by the way...it's not bad. =) 

Yay~ all the best.

always encouraging.

意敏啊，你怎么那么糊涂呢？

FUCK YOU. 我一直这样责怪自己，因为自己实在是太粗心大意了。19岁了，还有5年，就要当医生了，现在这么点小事也处理不好，以后怎么救命？

昨天从csu回来，我居然忘了把一本图书馆借来的书和我的文件夹带回家。结果今天早上去查看，2件东西已经消失得无影无踪了。究竟是谁把我的东西拿走了呢？我又为什么那么善忘？！我对自己真的真的非常失望。从开学到现在，我一直警惕自己，要好好处理每一件事情，结果昨天我就做了没用的事情。

csu的sisters都很乐于助人，尤其sister Malathi，她带我到security office去询问是否可以查看cctv，虽然后来没办法查看cctv，我深深感动，她的人真的非常好。很感激她，也对她感到非常抱歉，添了那么多麻烦。

后来，我也到lost and found去，却失望的回来。后来，让我见到负责cctv的工作人员，他也非常耐心地协助我。明天，我要在去那里看cctv，真希望可以找回那本书，还有我的文件夹。

我也到过图书馆询问。原本今天就要还书的，但是看来没有办法了。如果明天cctv还是找不到那本书，我就要被罚款RM123.34和service charge RM25。到这里念书我已经用了太多太多的钱了，爸爸妈妈的血汗钱，又要让我这样挥金如土。我怎么那么失败呢？

好失望啊！我真的没有意料自己会做出这种蠢事。19岁的大学生，还是医科生，这么小的事情处理不好，以后怎么在社会立足？真的很难过。对自己真的很失望。

我衷心地感激每一个因为我而忙碌的人，也说声对不起。

意敏啊，你真的还有很多要改善的地方。这才一个月，你就干了好事了。
你有好多东西要学习啊。除了课业，处理事情的方式也要改进。你有好多东西都不懂得处理，所以不可以有任何时候感到自满，骄傲。

意敏啊，你要专心做每一样事情。什么是重要的，什么没那么重要，你要好好判断，不要浪费18年来的教育。以后，要时时刻刻警惕，处理好每一件大大小小的事情，以后才可以当个有贡献的医生。

现在不要再沮丧了。加油。
反正，错误犯了也于事无补，能做的，就是不要重蹈覆辙。

好好加油。

Clinical Skills Session

Have you wondered how your heartbeat sound like?

I've been so curious till the day I got my own stethoscope and listened to my own pulse. It is truly fantastic. Now every time I feel lifeless or restless, I would listen to my heartbeat and all over energy is regained. 

My stethoscope is Burgundy =)

Today I have clinical skills session and I like it very much. I always like to have css because it's not boring at all and I love practicals much more than theory. So I learnt TPR, handwashing and BP-taking today. Basically, T means temperature taking, P and  R mean taking of pulse rate and respiration rate respectively.

Sister Malathi introduced to us several ways to take the temperature, amongst them are by oral and rectal. We learnt how to read the thermometer in a proper way as well.

After that, we were led to another room to learn Effective Hand Washing. Ooh hooh! Now I know to wash hands properly and effectively requires 6 steps and you might spend more than 3 minutes solely in washing your hands!

Then, we learnt to take blood pressure using the blood pressure monitor which is called the Sphygmomanometer.*PHEW...such a big word! LOL....my blood pressure was 110 over 75 mmHG! For teaching and learning purpose, we were given a special stethoscope which consists of two pairs of earpieces. So that the 'doctor' and the 'patient' are able to listen to the sounds to make sure the student gets it.

疲累，怎么啦？

我讨厌自己感觉疲累。坐在地上读书，本来就不怎么舒服，可就会想睡觉，然后迷迷糊糊地过了好几个小时，要读的东西好像看过了，但是醒过来时发现自己什么也没弄明白。

上课的时候，我不喜欢黯淡的灯光。因为光线不足，让人想睡。我讨厌自己上课想睡，因为几百块又这样不明不白地流失了。我总爱寻找光线，注视着灯泡发出的光线，让大脑皮层接受讯息---原来还是白天，所以不可以想睡。

我好困惑阿。
韩愈在《师说》中道，人非生而知之者，孰能无惑？惑而不从师，其为惑也，终不解矣。
我说，我所困惑该如何从师阿？道之所存，师之所存阿。道在何处呢？

上课不可以想睡了。
要提起精神，如果想睡，就出去伸个懒腰，深呼吸，让氧气充实大脑皮层，让自己清醒。

加油。

Fencing - first lesson

Wow! I just had my first fencing lesson today and it was so much fun! 

There were only the three of of us who are newbies and one pretty lady who has been fencing for 4 years. The coach was late by almost one hour because he got stuck in the big jam. So we did a little bit of warm-up.( Basically, we ran for 5 times circling half of the forth floor of IMU.) 

At first, we learned how to move in fencing. For convenience during practice, 1 represents moving forward and 2 represents moving backwards..and so on. We learned how to attack and defense using the sabre, and the coach borrowed masks to us. It was so much fun! 

I enjoyed so much. And preferably, I would pick up fencing as one of my new sports and I will go all the way for it. 

I always remember that mum told me I must focus on only the particular thing that I am doing at the moment. And it worked out quite well as I only thought everything about fencing during the lesson. And now, I'm back in my room again.

So, now, it's time to focus on my studies ! hurray! What a happy beginning of the week. I'm going to be merry tomorrow as well!