Time is very precious. I've understood this statement since I learnt numbers. But it doesn't apply to my life now. My life is full of nothing but freedom but I feel nothing but misery. This is not what I've ever expected.
Life should be happy and contented. People are happy with their lives when they are contented. People are contented with their lives when they have aims and goals to be achieved.
I look at myself in the mirror and I see a zombie that hasn't slept nor eaten for ages. Innocent eye bags under the eyes are enormous as if they are filled with liquid. The dark circles underneath are horrendous. It's not an exaggeration to use this word indeed. They are covering almost half of the face. I nearly couldn't recognize the person in the mirror. I put on my glasses thinking that those additions to my face might not be so obvious. And then life goes on, the same way.
I couldn't see a clock nor a watch in my room. Time is not a matter to me anymore, it seems. All I'm conscious about is when I feel hungry and I feel tired. And now I thought of my dream. I want to be a doctor. A specialist. A surgeon. And I'm living this way. It's worse than miserable. I'm almost lifeless.
A doctor? None of the things I do looks like I'd become a doctor. And doubtless I can't carry on to live like this. It's saddening and painful. I'm going to make changes. Lots of changes. And I'm going to change for the better, if not, for the best.
Ym is back. You're going to be freed from hell-like life :) which seems full of freedom but not in fact.
