so it's the end of the first semester =)

So it's the last day of the semester.

I had a hard time over the weeks. Yea, it was all about exams, studies, and exams. And after struggling since Day 1 of study break, the two days of exam finally ended yesterday. I spent the rest of the day with the Junior's orientation and went for Mamak session as usual. It was great to be in their orientation. It stroke me when I just got to realize that MY orientation happened almost more than sex months ago but everything was like they just happened. Time flied, seriously. It's like before I could even gasp for a mouthful of air, everything has ended.

So what do you think you have learnt throughout the first semester in the medical school?

Hmm. For the first semester, we did the Foundation Block. We had Biochemistry, Anatomy and Physiology, Microbiology, Parasitology, Pharmacology and Pathology. They aren't that difficult actually. But the volume is killing. I think I like Parasitology the most, partly it's because I know the most of what I should which appeared in the slides. Anatomy was fun too. But the only thing is that time is so running out that I couldn't afford to spend time reading. I like Anatomy very much actually but I'm one kind who cannot learn without touching and feeling. If more time is spent in the Medical museum with the models, I'm sure I can be the top scorer in that.

Hmm.. other than that, the worst thing that I'd say is Pharmacology. I totally neglected its existence. I actually skipped the whole thing, in other words, I went in for exams with zero knowledge on that. It's mainly because I didn't have the time to even touch on it. Was that a problem in time-management? Perhaps, but I did study from morning till midnight everyday during the one-month study break, or till my brain was saturated with memorizing work, whichever comes first. Ah. Maybe I hadn't be more of a professional medical student yet? But what to do when your body says "that's enough for the day" when you actually need to spend 20 hours reading and stuffing in diagrams and Greek names into your head everyday for maybe one whole month or even more than that, like 3-4 months before the study break? I would have either jumped down from the building or ended up talking to the air in the mental hospital.

I'm still seeking for the most efficient way to learn. In fact, I have never stopped modifying my style of learning till I find the best. There are a lot more to learn.

In these coming 3 weeks of holidays, I can't afford to waste it. I need to re-plan, energize, study/learn new subjects...there are so many things that I could do to live everyday to the fullest. I must not waste even a single minute on meaningless activities because right after this, the race begins. And it would never stop for even half a day for replenishment till the next exam comes. And that exam would determine whether I stay or go. I can't afford to get kicked out of the school.

All the best.

Pre-exam syndrome

At this very moment when the sky is raining non stop and my eyes are aching like they haven't been hydrated for ages, i really hope i am not alone.

28th would be the first time ever medical exam in the whole of my life.yes you are right, less than two weeks to go, but i have a whole huge pile of pharmacology,anatomy, immunology and pathology which i havent't even touched a bit on it.

Since the very first day od study break, which was like slightly more than a week ago, or actually even months before that, i have been studying everyday. Well but of course, it wasn't anything hardcore like what i'm doing now. But i seriously haven't given myself a day of rest at all since the first day. But somebody pkease tell me why i still cannot finish my notes. I want to be a great med student so badly. I wonder what is the problem.

At this precious moment when i'm poking on every button on my ipad, my heart, my body and my entire soul is far too complicated to be described in words. I can't tell any sensations i'm feeling anymore. Perhaps i have been already too worried, too scared, too numb that i'm almost paralysed to the surroindings and everything i'm doing. But i still keep on wondering, am i the only one feeling this or it's normal?

Somebody, just anyone, please let me know.

I can't afford to fail, or to give up on anything. This is what i told myself since the very first day of becoming a medical student.

I need to succeed. Even in little things.

It's the first exam, which takes up 45% of the total sem 1 and 2 examinations, but i'm already gasping for air everyday. Is this normal? I don't want my first semester in the medical school to be so miserable. It's just but one semester out of the ten, but i'm already utilizing all my energy to the max.

I need power. I need life.

All the best in your exams.
Trust me, you are going to be a great doc.


With great love

Enjoyment with liz's

This is my second time reading EAT PRAY LOVE - elizabeth gilbert. The experience is totally different. Now i'm reading it only a few pages every night (god knows when i will finish the book), but i'm savoring its every word, digesting and enjoying the after-taste. The words are so tempting. This is the first time ever i have experienced the soothness and caressing warmth brought by the beauty of liz's words. Her every description of events, choice of words etc.

Most of all, it makes me think. WHAT IF i were in her shoes? WHAT IF i had been stranded in the middle of endless affairs and complicated, heartwrenching divorce? These are all so unimaginable but when i try to imagine...the sensation is tense.

One thing i like so much is the way she describes Italian guys wheb she was in Rome. I would never forget...

'to my taste, Italian men are ridiculously,hurtfully,stupidly beautiful.....they are devilishly attractive, or cruelly handsome, or surprisingly muscular.' Awhh...it makes me want to go to Italy so much!

My every night is never lonely ever since The day i got mesmerized by the beauty of its language.

Once again, EAT PEAY LOVE. Thanks mum fot getting me the book.

Mid of january, updates

Hi there, i'm here again. You wish you wouldn't have to see me hanging atound here?Not really, i actually do like to see you writing. Because you are doing reflective writing most of the time.

Gahh. I have been looking for a word to describe my feelings now. But no, i haven't found any, and i don't think i would find one. Because what i'm always feeling is just too complicated to be written in words. So, the nearest word to express is, "gahh",with a double-h.

Dear yimin, exam is soon.and you know that very well. And i don't need a blog to reassure myself about that. Now you have so many things to do, piles of lecture notes, like 196 or more lectures that i've had in the past few months? Yes you are right. I don't care if you end up psycotic or not, or probably you are already a schizo, you still have to face the fact that you gotta complete them ALL. I'm 20 this year, and the number of exams that i have had since i knew how to write is uncountable so i do not expect myself to describe what i sould be doing already now.

Yimin you're a big girl now.
Remember what Steve Jobs said? STAY HUNGRY,STAY FOOLISH. Although at some point you are a fool, i mean, seriously a fool, but you still gotta learn to apply this concept and practice this in your comng "exciting"life. Because that's the only way you can trabsform yourself into a not-a-fool.

Ok, craps ahead, i'm not gonna waste time tapping on my ipad. Now SHUT UP, or, SHUT THE F**K UP if you like,and DO WORK. DO THE F**KING work. Okay. See you soon, PSYCHO.

A day of my student life

The day usually starts when i start studying. Usually,i'd have two morning lectures,and after that i'd go home, sometimes after having a quick lunch with my mates, and have a nap of about thirty minutes or so. Then the day begins with studying.

It's been five months studying here and stayng alone without my parents. No matter how much i'd want Tondeny,but somehow it turned out a fact that i have been suffering from a so-called homesickness, which i thought wouldn't happen on me,as i always thought how much a well-disciplined and independent girl i am. Anyway,the good news here is that i think i have overcome it better now, that i do not think of going home all the time now. I have never told anything about this to either of my parents or even my brother,because it somewhat sounds ridiculous and...stupid, for a twenty year old med student having problems with homesickness.LOl.

I have been going for swimming everyday for almost a week now. It just started that i feel much better now when i can focus better on my work. You see, the feeling is just too torturous and horrible to be described when you want to do something but you lack of patience and concentration. And i think there is some relation between homesickness, focus and going for swimming everyday. Overcoming homesickness made me more organized and momentous in doing my work, which leads to better focus on my work, thus i have better reason to go for exercises after a long day of studying.

Exam is soon. I would definitely want this growing momentum and power to sustain in my will. I want to succeed and become a good doctor. I want to, that is why i am doing what i need to do now.

2012 BRAND NEW YEAR

IT'S 2012. Can you believe it?

Okay, it's already the second day of January 2012 and honestly I was a little surprised when I found that I just realized it's already 2012! Time flies.

It's half way of the first semester in IMU but because it's a brand new year, I have new year's resolutions for myself.

I always look forward to starting a new year because it always gives me many new hopes and somewhat momentum from nowhere would always drive me crazy working non-stop in stuff I like, which is great, because all I need at all times is ENERGY, endless energy and strength.

Briefly,
I have a number of new year's resolutions

First of all, of course, I would do my best in my studies, and make whatever I'm learning and doing as fun and as memorable as possible, and I am going to go all the way to learn what I'm supposed to know. There's an interesting saying adapted from what jiujiu said, let's say I scored 6 out of 10 in an exam, in other words it means, out of 10 persons, I am only capable of saving 6 persons' lives! Doesn't this sound crazy? Okay, so that makes it one of the reasons I must do well in studies!

Secondly, I'm going to live a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally. Which means, I carry out physical activities constantly, especially swimming. And, no mood swing is allowed. Keep an eye on yourself, and be careful when you can't help checking your FB account or your phone, it means that you are not clear of what you are supposed to do. Stop giving ridiculous excuses for yourself. Also, PROCRASTINATION IN MEDICAL SCHOOLS IS A SURE WAY TO FAIL is going to be your new study motto as well as your life motto, because at this phase of your life, your life is all about studying, interesting learning XD

Thirdly, which is actually related to the second point, keeping my body healthy in such ways that besides doing exercises, eating more healthy/ aka functional foods and less junk food is very important. If I cannot even take good care of myself, you can forget about saving lives.

In a nutshell, I must learn to live my life to the FULLEST at every moment. I actually worked out a logic, which is very simple and i think if I understand it well, I can succeed my study life XD doubtless.

OKAY, what is lacking in my daily life that makes me bored/in other words, suffer? No TV? No movies? No shopping? No friends to talk to because my housemates are always not around? Nothing to do? Gahh. However, the fact is that, if there is a TV it would be worse because I might watch TV all day and finally end up suffering from guilt due to tonnes of unfinished work. Also, shopping is actually pretty tiring. It takes me at least 2 hours roundtrip to go to the nearest mall, and usually I wouldn't be back after dawn. So, the same bad thing would happen, I would suffer from guilt having the whole day spent not with notes. Next, no friends to talk to? Even when your housemates are around you usually do not knock on their doors and talk to them. So, this is an excuse, a lame one. And then, it's a total joke to say that you have nothing to do. You have tonnes of work waiting for you to accomplish. Hence, the simple reason for all these problems is that you CANNOT FOCUS, which, for a medical student, is supposed to be ridiculous ( although it always happens in poor will people)

Hence, the basic rule to triumph over all the stupid problems is that YOU NEED TO LEARN. TO. FOCUS. IN. YOUR. STUDIES. ONLY.

okay. being long-winded is also a sin in the life of a medical student.
Thus, pen off now, and ...

lastly,
WISH MYSELF ALL THE BEST IN THE BRAND NEW YEAR OF 2012
BE HAPPY
HEALTHY ALWAYS
GOOD LUCK IN
EVERYTHING!!!!

Mock Formative OSCE

[OSCE] : Objective Structured Clinical Examination
[formative] : ungraded

Today I started off the first day of the week with OSCE, which happened early in the morning. It is the very first time sitting for an OSCE. I thought I might be a little nervous and probably would not mess things up because I had three practices with my peers in the last week. Overall, everything turned out pretty well except there were some minor steps that I forgot to carry out maybe because I was a little excited.

There were only 4 stations, which would be considered as the least and probably the most simple OSCE ever, as regarded by Dr. Jack, the doctor who briefed us before the test. Each station is set up with different situations/scenarios and there were different tasks given for us to perform. And 5 minutes were given for each station in which 4 minutes were for performing the tasks and 1 minute for the examiner to elaborate or comment on what you would have done better or your overall performance.

There were altogether 13 groups for our batch in which each group consisted of 20 students which were then arranged into 4 different clusters with similar tasks. During the exam, the buzzer system was being used. There were different kinds of buzzer styles as indications of the time. For example, a long buzz would indicate that the test starts and the students are supposed to start reading the instructions on the paper which was attached to the wall right at the door of the particular room. After one minute, 2 short buzzes would be heard and students should be entering the room and start performing their tasks after greeting the examiner as well as the SP. 4 minutes later, a short buzz would mean that you have to end the task and the examiner would start giving comments, which would last for 1 minute when a long buzz would be heard again, which means students have to exit the room and start reading instructions for the next station. I find the system pretty impressing because it keeps everyone on time so that everyone is clear of what they should be doing at the particular time.

For me, the four stations included a brief history taking, palpating the apex beat, locating the brachial pulse and the aortic area, the vital signs(TPR), examination of the mouth and hand washing. The worst thing that I've done was that I forgot how to use the thermometer and I guess I struggled there trying to shake the thermometer and look for the temperature. I actually shook the thermometer with my hand holding at the bulb! How silly. I have no idea what I was trying to do at the moment. So I got only a 'PASS' for the station. Besides, at the station where I was supposed to examine the mouth of the patient, I forgot to wash my hands before and after the session. I also forgot that the lips are part of the mouth! Well, this is embarrassing to tell but I really forgot about it totally. So that made me a 'PASS' for it as well. Other than that, I guess I did a pretty good job.

The thing that I'm still figuring out is the minor tasks that we are supposed to perform like hand washing and explaining to the patients about the tasks that you're going to do. Reason being, we only have 4 minutes. Hand washing would easily take up 30 seconds at least, explanation would cost you probably 1 minute. And it would be even worse if you're nervous because you might find yourself struggling what to do first for the series of tasks given.

I think the following practices in CSU, I will need to time myself so that I'd do better in time management.

Overall, I enjoyed the session very much.
I really love CSS much more now!

MICRO BIOLOGY?

MICRO = small
BIO = life
-LOGY = studies

I'm moving on to Microbiology from this week onwards for 3 weeks. I haven't really started learning about it yet so all I know now is that it's all about *wonderful* and *gigantic* names! But I'm definitely going to conquer it! Hurray~

Okay, so today, I had a pretty wonderful session in the laboratory. I had Gram Stain session =) ( Gram Stain is developed by Christian Gram in the 19th century (it's in the notes)) I learnt how to stain bacteria using Gram Stain method and identify Gram positive or Gram negative bacteria.

I stained E.coli and Staphylococcus aureus and got to see E.Coli appeared pink(Gram-) whereas S.aureus appeared purple(Gram+). They looked so small even under a light microscope but they can be so harmful that might result in very high mortality in human beings. I put on the gloves and sterilized the entire working place, and started the task very carefully. I don't want to bring the germs home!

I enjoyed the session so much. Although it's inevitably tiring looking through the small lenses of the microscope.


All the best for your coming 3 weeks of Microbiology, and then you're freed for Christmas holiday! Yeah.

Updates =) =) =)

Wuahha...The last time I blogged was almost 10 days ago! Looks like I've been pretty lazy nowadays huh.

Well, I didn't blog doesn't mean that nothing special has happened. In fact, I've learnt so much these past days. I'm having one whole week of Pharmacology with Dr. Kyan Aung now and I'm trying hard to fall in love with Pharmaco. It's all about drugs. If you think that what you're learning is as simple as that, then you're very wrong. But if you relate Pharmaco with so many things else and then you get to know how a tiny bit of chemical that you swallow can create such a vast effect. It's all about poisons, I'd rather say. Now I understand why is it so important to prescribe the correct drugs, and at times even if the doctor prescribes correctly, it doesn't give 100% guarantee to the patient that the drug will bring benefit to the patient at all. Through Pharmaco, I find that our body system is miraculous. And scientists who discovered the ways drugs act in human bodies are way too fascinating to be described with words.

Wuahha...I'm spending more time at school now. I want to find time for myself. It's either the library or one of the e-lab where I got to find myself a lovely favourite spot of mine to do my stuff.

Enjoy!

How's life, dey.

"Finally I'm blogging dey..."

I think it's almost 3 weeks since the last time I jotted down my memories here. Hmm...It's been pretty busy all this while. Lecture notes are piling up. I need a lot of time to catch up! OR I should put it another way, I need to catch up faster...because the amount of time is constant.

Am I crapping now? It sounds like so. But I've way too many things to express so I'll wantonly allow myself to blurt everything out.

I'm doing Immunology and Pathology now, supposedly entering Foundation 2. I think it's fun. At some point of time it makes me feel like I'm beyond control. The cells in my body are fighting for the best thing for me but yet I'm wasting so much of my life on craps. It is like..."come on, you have no reason to stop working hard because your heart is pumping hard, and your every cells in your body have been doing a great job..." I guess this is one of the reason I have to work hard consistently.

Never let stress manipulate you. You have to manipulate it. You live your life.